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Author Topic: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!  (Read 7588 times)

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Offline alpha54

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DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« on: August 06, 2014, 07:49:22 pm »
I need a little help folks. I am seriously considering divorce with my Dominican wife of almost 4 years. I told her that I am tired of her making demands of me but she won't do as she says. Going out every night, leaving me with her two kids, that I brought here also.  I taught them English,paid for a private tutor. I pay for everything, lunch in school, co-pays for the doctor, when they need medicine I pay out of pocket and she then says well they are not your kids you don't have to do anything.......wow I can't believe it. I treat them like they are my own. Anyway sorry I'm venting been trying to work these problems out for a few years and I am just about at the end of my rope. Question I have; if we were to divorce how much would I be liable for in terms of support. The kids are her's. We don't have children together. I remember the papers saying that I had to show that I can take care of her. But how long does that last? Also does anyone know a good immigration lawyer? I know someone on this site has been through this, I  just need a little help. Thanks in advance.

Bring Your Dominican Family to the USA - Dominicans to the USA

DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« on: August 06, 2014, 07:49:22 pm »

Offline Q-Ban Sugar King

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2014, 12:19:55 pm »
Sorry to hear that. If I was you I would check with a lawyer in the state you leave in, as far as her I believe you are responsible for 40 quarters, again an not quite sure.

Tirso
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Offline alpha54

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2014, 08:59:42 pm »
Sorry to hear that. If I was you I would check with a lawyer in the state you leave in, as far as her I believe you are responsible for 40 quarters, again an not quite sure.

Tirso
Thanks for the reply I live in N.Y. That 40 quarters is alot of time. I need a good lawyer.

Offline D-mo

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2014, 09:58:20 pm »
40 quarter hours usually equals out to about 10 years. The I-864 doesn't mean you HAVE to support them totally. It only means you are guaranteeing that they will not become "State Charge".  The I-864 stays valid for that 40 quarter work hour/10 years OR until the immigrant achieves Citizenship. HOWEVER, one of our members just went through a divorce where the I-864 was used in Alimony judgement.


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Offline Q-Ban Sugar King

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2014, 04:54:00 am »
40 quarter hours usually equals out to about 10 years. The I-864 doesn't mean you HAVE to support them totally. It only means you are guaranteeing that they will not become "State Charge".  The I-864 stays valid for that 40 quarter work hour/10 years OR until the immigrant achieves Citizenship. HOWEVER, one of our members just went through a divorce where the I-864 was used in Alimony judgement.


D-mo

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Met Alana March29th. 2009
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Offline Twincactus

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2014, 06:17:09 am »
I need a little help folks. I am seriously considering divorce with my Dominican wife of almost 4 years. I told her that I am tired of her making demands of me but she won't do as she says. Going out every night, leaving me with her two kids, that I brought here also.  I taught them English,paid for a private tutor. I pay for everything, lunch in school, co-pays for the doctor, when they need medicine I pay out of pocket and she then says well they are not your kids you don't have to do anything.......wow I can't believe it. I treat them like they are my own. Anyway sorry I'm venting been trying to work these problems out for a few years and I am just about at the end of my rope. Question I have; if we were to divorce how much would I be liable for in terms of support. The kids are her's. We don't have children together. I remember the papers saying that I had to show that I can take care of her. But how long does that last? Also does anyone know a good immigration lawyer? I know someone on this site has been through this, I  just need a little help. Thanks in advance.

Ny has some really weird laws but I doubt you will have to pay for HER kids.

Some good advice for you:

DON'T tell her you are divorcing her until you (a) have a place to go immediately (b) have a nasty attorney that you have already spoken to and (c) get all your stuff out quietly when she isn't there. Now is not a time to be nice even if you are generally a nice person. She is NOT going to like this and she MAY try to make false claims and try to frame you for stuff which is why you need to make a clean break and leave when she is not there. This can get extremely nasty. There are organizations who will coach her on what to do and what to say and even how to have you arrested for things you didn't do. Don't try to see the kids or go back and talk to her. Do everything through your attorney. Don't give her an opportunity to say that you did something that you did not. I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. Just be careful and realize things can go very very wrong if you don't prepare for it.

-Tim
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Offline Jenny429

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2014, 09:38:21 pm »
I cannot emphasize enough to take Tim's advice.  These women get very nasty and they know more than you think they know!! You need to be super careful!   

Divorce her and never mention the I-864 there is a SLIGHT chance that someone will let her know.. Hopefully it won't be for another 6 years.  Meanwhile, do you think she will go with family? Friends? She work?

As long as she doesn't go on public assistance you will be ok.. She may not even think that is an option and may never have to worry about supporting her.

If she finds out now you are going to divorce her, she will start with "abuse" and everything else.. She will start talking and find a way to screw you out of EVERYTHING.. Wow..  I'm so sorry for everything you are going through...

I'm here in NY for a few more weeks/months? If you need anything let me know...
<3 Jenny <3
6/9/2011 - Met Francisco while living in the DR became wonderful friends..
2/14/2013 - Married Francisco
9/5/2013 Deposited I-130 via DCF
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Studying for Citizenship now.. :)

Offline alpha54

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2014, 09:24:49 pm »
I cannot emphasize enough to take Tim's advice.  These women get very nasty and they know more than you think they know!! You need to be super careful!   

Divorce her and never mention the I-864 there is a SLIGHT chance that someone will let her know.. Hopefully it won't be for another 6 years.  Meanwhile, do you think she will go with family? Friends? She work?

As long as she doesn't go on public assistance you will be ok.. She may not even think that is an option and may never have to worry about supporting her.

If she finds out now you are going to divorce her, she will start with "abuse" and everything else.. She will start talking and find a way to screw you out of EVERYTHING.. Wow..  I'm so sorry for everything you are going through...

I'm here in NY for a few more weeks/months? If you need anything let me know...
   Thank you for all the replies. As we speak I don't know where she is. I'm guessing she is seeing someone. As to her getting nasty she has already started doing that telling me that I HAVE to take care of her because I brought her here. Also saying that she is going to break out the windows in my car and burn my house down if I don't give her what she wants. In the meantime she has incurred credit card bills when she was, working. Now she is lieing to me telling me she is looking for work when I know she isn't. She jumps into the car that I bought for her so she would have decent transportation to go to work and now she just joy rides. Where she is getting gas money from, who knows. Twincactus suggested I move out, problem is I own my own home and she is living in my place. I feel bad for the kids and hold no malice towards them. I wanted to see them grow up to be productive young men here in the states. They are doing so good for kids that have only been here a few years. Can speak english better than you or me and have almost caught up to their peers in school. I have though, had a little talk with myself, and said if she is not going to do the right thing by me than I am not going to stay with her just to make sure the kids are ok. I think by that time she would have taken years off of my life. Interestingly enough when her brother asked her in front of me what is it that I have done to deserve the way  she is acting.........she had no answer. Thank you all again for the replies. Never thought I would be writing on a forum like this for help but the replies have lifted my spirits. Still looking for a knowledgable lawyer and no, I have no plans to let her know that I am looking.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2014, 09:32:23 pm by alpha54 »

Offline Q-Ban Sugar King

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2014, 05:08:54 am »
Number one, I am truly sorry but I need to ask you something. What is the age
difference between you guys and how long did you know this woman before
you decided to get married and file for her papers?

Once again am very sorry.

Tirso
Met Alana March29th. 2009
 Trip #1 May 29th. 2009
 Trip #2 Sept.9th. 2009
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 Trip #4 April 9th. 2010
 Trip #5 July 30th. 2010
 Trip#6 December 2011
 Trip #7 March 2011
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 ( Married 09.23.11)     
Trip #9 February 2012
Trip #10September 2012
File I-130 November 2nd. 2012
Trip #11 February 14th. 2013
Trip #12 March 8th. 2013
RFE USCIS May 3rd. 2013
Send RFE June 4th. 2013
Approved June7th. 2013
Arrived at NVC June 18th.
Rec. Case # NVC July 2nd.
Email Choice of Agent July 2nd.
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Send AOS July 11th. 2013
Paid IV $230.00 July 23rd. 201
Trip #13 August 18th.
DS-260 file on Line Sept. 9th. 2013
Other Documents by mail Sept.9th.2013
Case Complete NVC October 11, 2013
Trip # 14 October 19th. 2013
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Case in transit to Consulate Nov. 19
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Offline koukela

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2014, 07:10:00 am »
First, I understand that you feel sorry for the boys, but don't. In the long run, they will lie and side with their mom under any conditions, so remember that !
As far as where you live, that is  your home, and because of the things that she has said to YOU, I would go and file a restraining order against her and get HER OUT OF THERE !!!!!! before she does that to you and you are thrown out of your own home. Tell them that you are in fear of your own life, and do it fast, before this backfires on you and you lose the roof over your head.
Run,,,,,,,,do it now.
If the car is under your name, go to the dealership and tell them you lost the keys. Bring the title with you and they will have you an extra set made with the Vin #. Make that car disappear. Sell it fast also.
good luck.

I want to know the same thing that Tirso does. How old are you, and how old is she? How old are the boys????
« Last Edit: August 14, 2014, 07:22:50 am by koukela »

Offline Twincactus

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2014, 12:18:33 am »
OK if the house is yours then the advice is a little different. Like Koukela said you gotta get her out of there and it may not be easy. This is what you need a GOOD aggressive attorney for. You need the best, and they are expensive but money well spent. They can tell you how to get her out of your life. You must cut ties as soon as you can and gather whatever hard evidence you can of her infidelity and other problems. Please understand you are under NO obligation to support her at all. Your AOS only says you are responsible if she becomes a public charge. She is NOT eligible for any benefits as far as I know so you should be in the clear but your attorney can tell you what the scoop is on that. If you interview an attorney who wants you to support her, DO NOT hire that attorney, get another one who tells you how to make a clean break from her, not support her for the next 6 months. I would get rid of the car as fast as you can, at least take it somewhere she doesn't know about so she cannot access it. As for the credit cards, if they are in her name let HER pay for them, but if they are joint or in your name sorry to say you are probably stuck paying for them. That is the least of your worries. Get her out of your house first before she does some serious damage. Get yourself a small voice activated recorder or just record her on your cell until you have enough evidence for the court and to protect yourself.

-Tim
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Offline koukela

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #11 on: August 15, 2014, 05:58:18 am »
Yes, as Tim and I said.make the car disappear. Park it at one of your friends house.Pay a grage or storage unit and hide it.
However, I know you can get her out of the  house without a lawyer. Just call  or go down and get a restraining order before she does. Say she threatened you and you are in fear of your life. They will believe you as usually men don't do that. It will be worse if she does that so move fast !!!!!!
As far as your credit, that is also an easy fix. You can go bankrupt with a legal aid person filling out the paperwork for under $200.00, and after that within a year get credit offers. And you can't lose your house either.
That is the least of your worries.

Offline alpha54

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2014, 01:15:14 am »
To answer your question as to the age difference, I'm almost 30 years older than her. I know what you are going to say but....I checked and checked  to make sure I wasn't being taken for a fool. I know for a fact that before I brought her here she was not talking to any other guys.....I won't say how I know but believe me I know. Also there was a big age difference between her mother and father almost 40 years and she always said that her mom thought it best that she date older guys, because they are more settled. Problem is she caught me talking to an old girlfriend that she despised and things have gone progressively downhill since. Mind you not having sex, only talking.The girl lives in a totally different country, she was fighting me and I'm not a punk but I don't hit women. Men always lose in those situations. Thing is she said she would have preferred me to have a one night stand as there would have been no feelings involved because she knew how the other girl and I felt about each other. Anyway I have been talking to a lawyer and talking about aggressive wow. I thought he was going to jump through the phone after her. I had to calm HIM down. So the coming weeks will tell. Thanks for the advice and hopefully I will eradicate myself of this situation soon.

Offline Twincactus

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2014, 08:24:27 am »
You're not going to get any flack from me about being 30 years older. This is very common in the DR and I did it myself and had 6 good years with my first Dominican wife. Age difference is not necessarily always the cause of these kind of problems.

Sounds like the issue is she thinks you cheated on her and lost your trust from that point on. She has lost her confidence in you and now she wants out. Just don't give her the world on a silver platter.

-Tim
I have a new wife and it's my business.
 

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Offline Q-Ban Sugar King

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #14 on: August 18, 2014, 07:24:48 am »
You're not going to get any flack from me about being 30 years older. This is very common in the DR and I did it myself and had 6 good years with my first Dominican wife. Age difference is not necessarily always the cause of these kind of problems.

Sounds like the issue is she thinks you cheated on her and lost your trust from that point on. She has lost her confidence in you and now she wants out. Just don't give her the world on a silver platter.

-Tim

No not going to get any flack from me either about the age diff. but now you admit you got caught doing the wrong thing and now you are sorry, you never mention that in your initial post, were you just made her look bad, and that is not right my friend. I am 31 years older than my wife and she tells me over and over again, If I find out to cheat on me am on the next plane back to DR, so am sorry to say you got what you ask for.  Don't do to some one what you don't like done to yourself and if you do then suffer the consequences.

He dicho case cerrado.

Tirso
Met Alana March29th. 2009
 Trip #1 May 29th. 2009
 Trip #2 Sept.9th. 2009
 Trip #3 Feb.17th. 2010
 Trip #4 April 9th. 2010
 Trip #5 July 30th. 2010
 Trip#6 December 2011
 Trip #7 March 2011
 Trip #8 September 2011
 ( Married 09.23.11)     
Trip #9 February 2012
Trip #10September 2012
File I-130 November 2nd. 2012
Trip #11 February 14th. 2013
Trip #12 March 8th. 2013
RFE USCIS May 3rd. 2013
Send RFE June 4th. 2013
Approved June7th. 2013
Arrived at NVC June 18th.
Rec. Case # NVC July 2nd.
Email Choice of Agent July 2nd.
Paid AOS July 3rd. $88.00
Send AOS July 11th. 2013
Paid IV $230.00 July 23rd. 201
Trip #13 August 18th.
DS-260 file on Line Sept. 9th. 2013
Other Documents by mail Sept.9th.2013
Case Complete NVC October 11, 2013
Trip # 14 October 19th. 2013
Rec.email Cita letter Oct. 23rd. 2013
Case in transit to Consulate Nov. 19
Cita December 24th. 11 days after case complete
Approved YES Dec. 24th. 2013
Visa Printed Dec. 31st.
Pick up at Domex January 7th.
Plane Ticket Purchase January 7th.
Alana Arrives at MIA January 11th.
January 11th. 8:05PM she was out of MIA

Offline Jenny429

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2014, 05:22:55 pm »
Be careful... and keep us posted.. if I can help Im 1.5 north of NYC.. (Dutchess County)


Jen
<3 Jenny <3
6/9/2011 - Met Francisco while living in the DR became wonderful friends..
2/14/2013 - Married Francisco
9/5/2013 Deposited I-130 via DCF
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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2014, 06:12:37 am »
You're not going to get any flack from me about being 30 years older. This is very common in the DR and I did it myself and had 6 good years with my first Dominican wife. Age difference is not necessarily always the cause of these kind of problems.

Sounds like the issue is she thinks you cheated on her and lost your trust from that point on. She has lost her confidence in you and now she wants out. Just don't give her the world on a silver platter.

-Tim

No not going to get any flack from me either about the age diff. but now you admit you got caught doing the wrong thing and now you are sorry, you never mention that in your initial post, were you just made her look bad, and that is not right my friend. I am 31 years older than my wife and she tells me over and over again, If I find out to cheat on me am on the next plane back to DR, so am sorry to say you got what you ask for.  Don't do to some one what you don't like done to yourself and if you do then suffer the consequences.

He dicho case cerrado.

Tirso


As the saying goes, Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
Would you allow her to talk to an old boyfirend?
I would of freaked out also. Plus you are 30 years older than her and shouldn't have done that.
I would of left you.

Offline Q-Ban Sugar King

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2014, 06:44:41 am »
You're not going to get any flack from me about being 30 years older. This is very common in the DR and I did it myself and had 6 good years with my first Dominican wife. Age difference is not necessarily always the cause of these kind of problems.

Sounds like the issue is she thinks you cheated on her and lost your trust from that point on. She has lost her confidence in you and now she wants out. Just don't give her the world on a silver platter.

-Tim

No not going to get any flack from me either about the age diff. but now you admit you got caught doing the wrong thing and now you are sorry, you never mention that in your initial post, were you just made her look bad, and that is not right my friend. I am 31 years older than my wife and she tells me over and over again, If I find out to cheat on me am on the next plane back to DR, so am sorry to say you got what you ask for.  Don't do to some one what you don't like done to yourself and if you do then suffer the consequences.

He dicho case cerrado.

Tirso


As the saying goes, Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
Would you allow her to talk to an old boyfirend?
I would of freaked out also. Plus you are 30 years older than her and shouldn't have done that.
I would of left you.

Exactly , if she is 30 let say he is  60, listen keep that Toto happy, because at 60 I don't think you can satisfy a 30 year old Dominican and then another one on the side, he was probably or most likely  eating prime and trade it for chopped meat.   
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Offline Jenny429

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Re: DIVORCE PROBLEMS!!!!!
« Reply #18 on: August 19, 2014, 11:17:53 am »
Emotional cheating even though she is on the other side of the world is just as hurtful to women if you slept with her.

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