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Author Topic: 9 years of success......NOT  (Read 10103 times)

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Offline jahfelipe

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9 years of success......NOT
« on: August 31, 2015, 12:51:26 pm »
I thought I had one of the few successful Dominican/American relationships but I discovered I was wrong.

Background: we have been married for 8 years and have been together  for 9. We have an 8 year old daughter and her 14 year old daughter is here in NY with us. My wife is now a citizen of the US.

Just recently she got a new phone so I traded my flip phone for her hand me down smart phone. She made a big mistake! She forgot to get rid of her facebook account on the old phone. I have access to everything. She has had a long standing relationship with a Dominicano (in the DR). I only read back about 20 days of PM's which took several hours. They PM constantly. They send each other naked pics constantly. She sent him money on the 19th. and the 29th of August.

Now here is how I know it is not just a internet fling and this is disgusting. I clicked his name in the PM and went to his page where his profile pic is of my wife! Further, the banner is of him with my daughter in the DR from this past December. There are several other pics of him with my daughter at some resort, which BTW I PAID FOR! I am blocked from getting to his page via my page but I also saw that many of my Domican "family" are on his friends list. The most disgusting thing is that my 14 year old is a friend of his! I am sure she has seen his profile pic with her mother!

Bottom line is I have not as yet confronted her. I want to take this stuff to my lawyer before she has a chance to eliminate. Why are these Dominicans so deviant and of such sorry moral values.
Can't we all just get along?

Bring Your Dominican Family to the USA - Dominicans to the USA

9 years of success......NOT
« on: August 31, 2015, 12:51:26 pm »

Offline jahfelipe

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2015, 01:03:12 pm »
I forgot to mention 1 other thing. I showed the picture of him with my 8 year old to my 8 year old and asked who it was. She had the strangest face and "I don't know" I told her "it's your uncle_____" She looked relieved. Nasty pos even has my daughter involved.
Can't we all just get along?

Offline Clarywaldo

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2015, 08:54:23 am »
oh wow! Sorry to hear this! I don't understand why people do this. . . my husbands brother is married and has a wife at home, yet has girlfriends in 5 different citys there in the D.R and has built a house for one who is now pregnant. Yesterday my husband wanted me to send him $100 and I said HELL NO! To me that is not right and I will not send $ to someone who is doing wrong.
09/5/2011- Met Waldo
12/12/2011- Started Dating
07/2/2012- 1st Trip
11/27/2012- 2nd Trip
1/3/2013- Got Married!!
3/20/2013- Came back to the USA after 4 mnths
4/10/2013- Sent I-130/I-129 for SO & 2 step Daughters
4/15/2013- NOA1 text, email received
10/15/2013-Contacted State Representative to get Professional Inquiry
10/21/2013-NOA 2 Email/Text(Gracias a Dios!)
10/25/2013-11/03/2013-3rd Trip
11/15/2013-NVC Received Case
11/19/2013-Received Case #'s [[NVC]]
11/19/2013-E-mail Choice of Agent(DS-261)
11/20/2013-Paid AOS $88
11/21/2013-Paid IV $230 for Hubby
11/25/2013-Sent AOS (I-864)Mailed Priority Mail
11/25/2013-DS-260 Online for Hubby
11/26/2013-Paid IV $230 for Step Daughters
11/28/2013-DS-260 Online for Step Daughters
12/02/2013-Sent DS-260 Supporting Documents Priority Mail
12/25/2013-Merry X-mas 2 me, NVC sent checklist
12/30/2013- NVC reviewed DS-260 Documents
1/08/2014- Sent NVC the CHECKLIST w/ missing documents
2/11/2014-NVC received all doc., waiting for Interview Date!!
2/28/2014- Got our CITA date 04/07/2014!!!!
3/17/2014- Hubby and 2 step-daughters went to medical.
4/02/2014- 4th trip
4/07/2014- ALL 3 APPROVED!
4/14/2014- Visas picked up at Domex in Santiago
4/17/2014- Port of Entry(Miami)
5/05/2014- Paid Green Card Fees $165
6/13/2014- Received hubby & Step-Daughters Green Cards.
----------------
01/11/16--I-751 Lifting Conditions $505+$85+$85+$85
08/01/16-Request for Evidence,sent info 08/10
08/29/16- Received Hubby & Step Daughters 10 yr Green Card :)

Offline D-mo

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2015, 07:20:11 pm »
Sorry to hear about this jah! Definitely not something that someone wants to find out after 9 years and especially after a child.

If you feel the need to vent, feel free to even PM if you wish man.

D-mo
"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline Twincactus

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2015, 04:57:53 pm »
I sent him a PM but haven't heard anything. D-mo, did he contact you?

This is always tragic to find out someone you love and trust has been lying for years. I wish all the n00bs would read these threads.

-Tim
I have a new wife and it's my business.
 

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Offline Tamara/Junior

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2015, 08:33:52 am »
Sorry to hear that you were deceived. I have been deceived too. Its a hard reality. If you need to talk or vent I am here as well.

Offline Q-Ban Sugar King

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2015, 01:18:08 pm »
Wow, it seems every time I stop by here there is something really sad going on, Sorry dude after eight years, don't get divorce it will be cheaper to kill the bitch.

But you will find another one, and don't tell me no, you see man is the only animal that makes the same mistake twice. I have done it three times. So far on my last one is going just fine.

Sincerely I am truly sorry, glad to see Clary and lady Tamara still around.

Good luck to all my all friends here, and to all those new guys on the block let me tell you here you only get the best advise, my  wife is here in Miami because of all you guys( too many to name ). Thank you so much. 
« Last Edit: September 04, 2015, 01:21:05 pm by Q-Ban Sugar King »
Met Alana March29th. 2009
 Trip #1 May 29th. 2009
 Trip #2 Sept.9th. 2009
 Trip #3 Feb.17th. 2010
 Trip #4 April 9th. 2010
 Trip #5 July 30th. 2010
 Trip#6 December 2011
 Trip #7 March 2011
 Trip #8 September 2011
 ( Married 09.23.11)     
Trip #9 February 2012
Trip #10September 2012
File I-130 November 2nd. 2012
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Case Complete NVC October 11, 2013
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Alana Arrives at MIA January 11th.
January 11th. 8:05PM she was out of MIA

Offline D-mo

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2015, 07:05:31 pm »
I sent him a PM but haven't heard anything. D-mo, did he contact you?

This is always tragic to find out someone you love and trust has been lying for years. I wish all the n00bs would read these threads.

-Tim

No, I haven't heard from him. I sure do hate to hear it!

D-mo
"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline Clarywaldo

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2015, 09:43:38 pm »
Still here.  How are you Cuban? Busy I suppose
09/5/2011- Met Waldo
12/12/2011- Started Dating
07/2/2012- 1st Trip
11/27/2012- 2nd Trip
1/3/2013- Got Married!!
3/20/2013- Came back to the USA after 4 mnths
4/10/2013- Sent I-130/I-129 for SO & 2 step Daughters
4/15/2013- NOA1 text, email received
10/15/2013-Contacted State Representative to get Professional Inquiry
10/21/2013-NOA 2 Email/Text(Gracias a Dios!)
10/25/2013-11/03/2013-3rd Trip
11/15/2013-NVC Received Case
11/19/2013-Received Case #'s [[NVC]]
11/19/2013-E-mail Choice of Agent(DS-261)
11/20/2013-Paid AOS $88
11/21/2013-Paid IV $230 for Hubby
11/25/2013-Sent AOS (I-864)Mailed Priority Mail
11/25/2013-DS-260 Online for Hubby
11/26/2013-Paid IV $230 for Step Daughters
11/28/2013-DS-260 Online for Step Daughters
12/02/2013-Sent DS-260 Supporting Documents Priority Mail
12/25/2013-Merry X-mas 2 me, NVC sent checklist
12/30/2013- NVC reviewed DS-260 Documents
1/08/2014- Sent NVC the CHECKLIST w/ missing documents
2/11/2014-NVC received all doc., waiting for Interview Date!!
2/28/2014- Got our CITA date 04/07/2014!!!!
3/17/2014- Hubby and 2 step-daughters went to medical.
4/02/2014- 4th trip
4/07/2014- ALL 3 APPROVED!
4/14/2014- Visas picked up at Domex in Santiago
4/17/2014- Port of Entry(Miami)
5/05/2014- Paid Green Card Fees $165
6/13/2014- Received hubby & Step-Daughters Green Cards.
----------------
01/11/16--I-751 Lifting Conditions $505+$85+$85+$85
08/01/16-Request for Evidence,sent info 08/10
08/29/16- Received Hubby & Step Daughters 10 yr Green Card :)

Offline jahfelipe

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2015, 03:10:17 am »
Sorry I have not commented until now. I have just been preoccupied.

Well, I confronted her and got the most bizarre explanation of all times. I am not going to even try to explain it here but suffice it to say that the PM's were from someone using the actual persons facebook account. That night she apparently got into my phone so that I could no longer get to that account.

I got all kinds of "I love yous" and "trust mes". I told her that I would give her my facebook password and she should give me hers. She said " why? You don't trust me?" She sends me sweet text messages a couple of times every day.

This is very complicated and it will be hard for people to understand but the fact is staying with her and living in a lie is better for me (today) than the alternative. I look at it like this. She cleans and keeps the house in order. She cooks, albeit not very well. I am physically not doing well so it is like having needed care.

I do not think my girls will have a chance for a good upbringing without me. I need to just play this out. I have done a lot of bad in my life so maybe this is just karma. This is my baby on the first day of school.
Can't we all just get along?

Offline D-mo

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2015, 01:03:20 pm »
Sorry I have not commented until now. I have just been preoccupied.

Well, I confronted her and got the most bizarre explanation of all times. I am not going to even try to explain it here but suffice it to say that the PM's were from someone using the actual persons facebook account. That night she apparently got into my phone so that I could no longer get to that account.

I got all kinds of "I love yous" and "trust mes". I told her that I would give her my facebook password and she should give me hers. She said " why? You don't trust me?" She sends me sweet text messages a couple of times every day.

This is very complicated and it will be hard for people to understand but the fact is staying with her and living in a lie is better for me (today) than the alternative. I look at it like this. She cleans and keeps the house in order. She cooks, albeit not very well. I am physically not doing well so it is like having needed care.

I do not think my girls will have a chance for a good upbringing without me. I need to just play this out. I have done a lot of bad in my life so maybe this is just karma. This is my baby on the first day of school.

I wish you the best Jah! Keep us posted.

Cute young'un ya got there........keep the shot guns handy for when she gets older!  :rotfl:

D-mo
"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline 1cooldude123

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2015, 09:05:55 pm »
If you love her we like her it's your call Here we all want the best for all of us
That's why I love this community. It's tough on all fronts and aspects
First God shows us the truth when our heart and eyes are blind. Second it's tuff we all human and understand but your trust has been
Broken some. If you willing to forgive and stay make sure you sit her
Down and tell her you not slow or stupid you know what you saw and read all messages have dates and times  only old pictures can
Be sent by mistake. New photos means two things they were took recent not to beat a dead horse. Marriage is work and hard by itself
Just tell her you made up your mind take ownership of the situation
Not let her think talking sweet solved the problem.
Let her know I love you and my family if you want out or someone else tell me now. If she say she wants you tell no more Facebook sit with her delete her profile and account together. A family that prays and works together stays together. Since this crap has caused a situation it must go. Peace of mind is everything  good luck
Two people together can get over anything if that's what the two people both want to do. Best Wishes :sport: :toast:

Offline Twincactus

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2015, 10:36:01 am »
Sorry I have not commented until now. I have just been preoccupied.

Well, I confronted her and got the most bizarre explanation of all times. I am not going to even try to explain it here but suffice it to say that the PM's were from someone using the actual persons facebook account. That night she apparently got into my phone so that I could no longer get to that account.

I got all kinds of "I love yous" and "trust mes". I told her that I would give her my facebook password and she should give me hers. She said " why? You don't trust me?" She sends me sweet text messages a couple of times every day.

This is very complicated and it will be hard for people to understand but the fact is staying with her and living in a lie is better for me (today) than the alternative. I look at it like this. She cleans and keeps the house in order. She cooks, albeit not very well. I am physically not doing well so it is like having needed care.

I do not think my girls will have a chance for a good upbringing without me. I need to just play this out. I have done a lot of bad in my life so maybe this is just karma. This is my baby on the first day of school.
Unfortunately weird stories seem to be the way they justify what they did. When I confronted my 3rd wife about her cheating she vehemently denied everything even though I had screen shots of all her bad stuff. It's like in their mind they really believe what they are telling you. It's weird but it's truly a Dominican thing.

I understand your reasoning to stay with her and of course she isn't going to be with someone that far away without you knowing it. I agree with cooldude, delete the FB account to teach her a lesson. Monitor her phone bill and everything else, her email accounts etc. Get a license for WebWatcher and put it on her computer. You can monitor EVERYTHING she does with that and you will be able to get her password because it has a keylogger on it. Go to http://www.webwatcher.com and check it out. They even have one that goes on her phone. It's not cheap (around $90) but if you call and ask for a discount, they will give it to you at something like $76.

-Tim
I have a new wife and it's my business.
 

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Offline jahfelipe

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2015, 03:32:19 pm »
I am really embarrassed. That is why I have not been responding. I will respond with an update tomorrow when my heart stops breaking.
Can't we all just get along?

Offline marcfranc

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2015, 11:26:11 am »
I just read this. Sorry to hear. Sometimes you have to ask yourself is it better to be "right" or to be happy? It's not all black and white. Of course you should take all of the control that you can. Make sure that everything is in your daughter's name (life insurance, your will etc.). And I do mean YOUR daughter only. No more money to DR. No trips to DR alone. If you are in DR together, no side trips by her alone to visit her "cousin" etc. If she is determined there really is no way to stop her from contacting someone unless you want to create a "prison" and become her "guard" 24 hours a day. And even then there are no guarantees. And that's no way to live your life.

Just let her know that you are not stupid and that you know what she did. Do what you can to limit the damage (no joint bank accounts, monitor the credit cards, etc) and try to focus on your daughter and get your joy from that. I wish you all the best. Take care of yourself.

Offline jahfelipe

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2015, 01:44:31 pm »
This is painful and humiliating. The more I search and listen and talk the more I find. I am wondering if this has been going on throughout our relationship and I just kept blinders on until now.

The past 2 weeks she has left for church at 10:45 and has come home at 2. My 14 year old even asked me why she didn't take her to church any more. My sister in law also goes to that church along with a mutual friend. The first week I asked her if my sister in law was there and she said "of course!" I asked if she said hello and she said "of course." Funny thing is my sister in law called me Sunday afternoon and asked how everything was going and then asked why my wife doesn't go to church any more.

I then ran into our mutual friend at a grocery store and she asked the same thing.

Just today we were talking about vacation in the D.R. and she said that I should go to the DR in October and she and the girls would go in December for Christmas. I said, why don't we all go in December. She said she wouldn't go with me because i GOT MEAN IN THE AIRPORT THE LAST TIME WE WENT.

These people are clever and very patient. I now wonder if any of it was real. I wish I would wake up and find out that this was just a bad dream.

I wish I could tell the Dominican boyfriend that she has an American boyfriend and vice-verse. Would love to see that explosion!

Some sound advice to both men and women who want to find love in the D.R. It seems there is maybe a 5% chance of these relationships working out or not being based on false pretenses. Simple solution.........DON'T!

BTW.... she will NOT be going to the D.R. in December because she would need my credit.



Can't we all just get along?

Offline Twincactus

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #16 on: September 21, 2015, 08:07:41 pm »
I thought you knew who the guy was? Why NOT tell him? I sure would. I'd get on FB and message him about it. I did something very similar in my last relationship and she blew a gasket. It was great watching her squirm.

-Tim
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Offline sonny1022

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2015, 03:01:39 pm »
haven't been here in a couple of months. So sad to have read this. just ruined my day. how unfortunate, dishonorable and unjustifiable.
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Offline Mayimbe007

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2015, 09:06:28 am »
Wow Jah I'm so sorry to hear this.  It's really messed up after all the trouble you went through to get her and your daughter over here.
12-2007 - Visa Approved. Wife is in the States with me, now the fun begins...
04-2009 - Son born
08-2013 - Wife becomes US Citizen
09-2013 - Immigration cycle continues wife petitioned for her mother.
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Offline IWantaGreenCard

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Re: 9 years of success......NOT
« Reply #19 on: December 24, 2015, 11:47:55 am »
Jah,

No surprises here. Not even going to joke about this. Believe me when I say that Dominicans have only one agenda in mind --to leave the confines of their beloved island by all means necessary. And once they acquire their citizenship, you are useless. Peace and Merry Christmas.


Sincerely,
Iwantagreencard
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