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Author Topic: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer  (Read 7001 times)

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Offline Biscuits

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My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« on: July 03, 2016, 12:43:29 pm »
Hello, this is my first post.  So I am happy to be here.

In December, I met a man on Plenty of Fish (POF) who lives in DR.  We talk on Whatsapp every day, all day.  He is very polite, very Catholic (I like Catholics), gives me inspiration, happiness, hope, and most of all shows me much love.  I like him very much.  I would say that I love him.  He is not rich, not super handsome (with the long hair and the muscles like a sanky-panky type), works a regular job everyday (not a resort, not around a bunch of foreigners), and speaks poor English.  As a matter of fact, I was drawn to him so that I could improve my Spanish.  So we only speak in Spanish.  I'm learning and he's actually a good teacher of Spanish. 

I visited the DR recently and we met in person. He was exactly the same in person.  He cooked Dominican staples: tostones and mangu.  He taught me how to eat a mango.  He complained about stuff being too "caro" and showed me the cheaper alternative.  Just a really regular person.  Doesn't seem to have ulterior motives at all.  He's never asked me for money.  Although I am always tempted to offer, even though I think he would refuse.

My family thinks I'm Juliet, as in, I'm an impetuous child that can't make her own decisions. Even though I'm a grown woman with a career, 2 kids, and my own house and no history of mental illness (being a little sarcastic here).  I tell this to my beau and he says "que pena" not all Dominicans/men are alike. 

He would like to come to visit me in America, but I don't know if he'd be approved. The consulate seems to think everybody wants to get out.  Do they?  He's 40.  Has been at his job for 20 years.  Never been married, no kids.  No police record or anything like that.  He works as a civil servant. He has a sister here in America and a cousin too.

I wonder what do you think?  Do you think he would be approved for a visa to come here?  He asked me to write a letter of invitation which might improve his chances.  He obviously knows they're slim.
« Last Edit: July 03, 2016, 01:18:36 pm by Biscuits »

Bring Your Dominican Family to the USA - Dominicans to the USA

My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« on: July 03, 2016, 12:43:29 pm »

Offline D-mo

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2016, 03:08:25 pm »
Hello, this is my first post.  So I am happy to be here.

In December, I met a man on Plenty of Fish (POF) who lives in DR.  We talk on Whatsapp every day, all day.  He is very polite, very Catholic (I like Catholics), gives me inspiration, happiness, hope, and most of all shows me much love.  I like him very much.  I would say that I love him.  He is not rich, not super handsome (with the long hair and the muscles like a sanky-panky type), works a regular job everyday (not a resort, not around a bunch of foreigners), and speaks poor English.  As a matter of fact, I was drawn to him so that I could improve my Spanish.  So we only speak in Spanish.  I'm learning and he's actually a good teacher of Spanish. 

I visited the DR recently and we met in person. He was exactly the same in person.  He cooked Dominican staples: tostones and mangu.  He taught me how to eat a mango.  He complained about stuff being too "caro" and showed me the cheaper alternative.  Just a really regular person.  Doesn't seem to have ulterior motives at all.  He's never asked me for money.  Although I am always tempted to offer, even though I think he would refuse.

My family thinks I'm Juliet, as in, I'm an impetuous child that can't make her own decisions. Even though I'm a grown woman with a career, 2 kids, and my own house and no history of mental illness (being a little sarcastic here).  I tell this to my beau and he says "que pena" not all Dominicans/men are alike. 

He would like to come to visit me in America, but I don't know if he'd be approved. The consulate seems to think everybody wants to get out.  Do they?  He's 40.  Has been at his job for 20 years.  Never been married, no kids.  No police record or anything like that.  He works as a civil servant. He has a sister here in America and a cousin too.

I wonder what do you think?  Do you think he would be approved for a visa to come here?  He asked me to write a letter of invitation which might improve his chances.  He obviously knows they're slim.

First of all..... welcome to the site!

I never met a Dominican guy who wasn't the same as the rest......but yea, rumor has it that there are a few that are hard working and responsible and loyal (very few). Dunno what "plenty of fish" is, but there are more suckers in this world than there are fish.

This is just one of those things you would have to play by ear and see how it goes. I wouldn't offer help if I were you, he's made it this far in life without your assistance, no reason for you to give it now. If he starts mysteriously getting sick or hurt or having issues that require donation, then he thinks he's found a sucker for sure........ not a fish.

The chances of a visitor visa are very slim, but if he has a sister here, AND a cousin, why haven't they already given him an invitation letter for a visitor visa? Are you sure it isn't his significant other and his mistress that have found their way here and waiting for him to find his way? This happens ALOT!

 An invitation letter from you especially could turn out to be a giant red flag for a visitor visa. Dominican Republic visa recipients (of any kind) have very high fraud rate. It never hurts to try for a visitor visa, it's not very expensive. I know some that have applied multiple times and eventually got approved.

 If the idea is for him to come here and see if you click, and then get hitched and adjust status, then that would be considered fraud. BUT, if he came on a visitor visa to visit family and friends, and by chance met someone and requested a stay extension, ended up getting married and adjusted...... then that is considered legal.

Long story short, don't go all in! Test the waters well. Swim around a while and see what happens.

D-mo
« Last Edit: July 03, 2016, 03:17:54 pm by D-mo »
"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline Biscuits

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2016, 08:55:43 pm »
Daaaannnng D-Mo, you went innnnn.  LOL I don't know if you are Dominican or not.  But sounds like Dominican women hate their men as much as African American women hate our men (I'm African American).  Sad.  Vestiges of slavery, I guess.  Okay, well thank you for the perspective.

No, the idea is not to see if we click, and then do something fraudulent. I'm not a liar.

But I am not convinced the letter from me would be a good idea either.  It would be fun if he could see America though. His sister and cousin live far from me so if they wrote a letter, he wouldn't be able to see me anyway.


Offline Twincactus

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2016, 12:02:29 am »
Daaaannnng D-Mo, you went innnnn.  LOL I don't know if you are Dominican or not.  But sounds like Dominican women hate their men as much as African American women hate our men (I'm African American).  Sad.  Vestiges of slavery, I guess.  Okay, well thank you for the perspective.

No, the idea is not to see if we click, and then do something fraudulent. I'm not a liar.

But I am not convinced the letter from me would be a good idea either.  It would be fun if he could see America though. His sister and cousin live far from me so if they wrote a letter, he wouldn't be able to see me anyway.


Hello, I am the owner and founder of this site and I have seen it all and then some. D-mo is one of my moderators but more importantly he has been through this process and is married to a Dominican. There are certain insights that we gain being married to a Dominican, and yes I have been married to 3 of them and I can tell you D-mo is 100% correct on Dominican men. He has the right idea when he says his relatives in the US could be lovers OR even wives. It's happened before many many times and likely will happen again. We just had one female US citizen who petitioned for her BF and he beat her once he got here and then put a hit out on her from prison. If you don't think it could happen to you let me tell you I can't make this stuff up. The percentage of relationships that don't work out is extremely high, I would say over 90% and it's worse for female US citizens than it is for males.

I'm not trying to ruin your dream or rain on your parade, I'm simply stating facts. Stick around here and we can tell you some ways to check out your BF and see if he is real or telling you a story. There are definitely things you can do to get an idea if he is genuine or not. Unfortunately most people just run away when they are told the facts and we never see them again. Let's hope you aren't one of them. Good luck, and ask questions here, we can help.

-Tim
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Offline Biscuits

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2016, 06:03:57 pm »
Thank you Twincactus for the insight.  I didn't notice the male symbol for D-Mo, I just looked at the picture.  I am sorry D-Mo for assuming you were a female.

Anyway, that is exactly why I am here. I would like to know how to check out the dude for real.  Waiting for your response!  Thank you!!!


Offline D-mo

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2016, 06:23:39 pm »
Daaaannnng D-Mo, you went innnnn.  LOL I don't know if you are Dominican or not.  But sounds like Dominican women hate their men as much as African American women hate our men (I'm African American).  Sad.  Vestiges of slavery, I guess.  Okay, well thank you for the perspective.

No, the idea is not to see if we click, and then do something fraudulent. I'm not a liar.

But I am not convinced the letter from me would be a good idea either.  It would be fun if he could see America though. His sister and cousin live far from me so if they wrote a letter, he wouldn't be able to see me anyway.

No, I didn't go innnn, I can go waaaaaay more innnn! lol

As Tim said...... No, I'm not Dominican........ I'm actually a white guy. My avatar Pic is my wife. She is Dominican. But, I might as well be Dominican, I lived there, with my wife for an extended period of time before we decided we'd had enough of the shenanigans that go on there.

I've seen and heard it all pretty much. I'm sure sooner or later something new and exciting will come up to surprise me or the wife.

I consider myself fortunate to have been able to experience and live the true culture that is Dominican Republic....... The REAL Dominican Republic. As I have, many others on the site have as well. When you're there.... for longer than just a week or two here and there, the picture becomes so much larger than what one would normally see. You see things go on that you would not think twice to notice other wise. I have an endless amount of stories!!!

I am in no way putting down D.R. any or Dominican! I love the place, the people (for the most part) and most certainly my wife of 7 years, I love her more than life!

I could probably write a book, and I think it would take just that to explain what I mean to say most of the time. But, in short...... Dominicans are beautiful souls mostly! Most of the women just want a honest loyal man, and that IS a rarity in D.R. The reason for that, women out number men probably 5 or more to 1! A Dominican woman's competition is fierce........and Dominican women are some of the most beautiful in the world.

When we lived in D.R., my wife would have preferred to keep me locked up in the house when she was not around.... tigre tigre tigre!!!

Anyway, just keep it real, keep your eyes open and your emotions in check! If he's real, you'll find out in time.

And like Tim said, if you have questions, just ask!

D-mo

"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline D-mo

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2016, 06:29:59 pm »
Thank you Twincactus for the insight.  I didn't notice the male symbol for D-Mo, I just looked at the picture.  I am sorry D-Mo for assuming you were a female.

Anyway, that is exactly why I am here. I would like to know how to check out the dude for real.  Waiting for your response!  Thank you!!!

No need to be sorry for assuming, I'm proud of my wife is all. lol

You can do lots of things..... mainly taking your time is the best way.

You can do surprise visits.......learn Spanish if you don't know, listen to the words and what goes on when you're there.

Truth check during conversation. Anything that is truth being said can be repeated off the hip later on in a conversation. If you get a stutter or a long pause, ya might wanna dig little.

Just a few things,

D-mo
"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline Clarywaldo

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #7 on: July 20, 2016, 09:06:21 am »
Welcome to the site. . When i first met my husband i knew 100% he was the one i was going to marry. . my mom and some of my aunts  of course had their doubts and said most people who live out of the country just want their pasaje to the USA. . .long story short, i followed my gut, married him and 4 years later here we are in the state of North Dakota living life as a normal couple with my two beautiful step-daughters as well. We have our ups and downs and sometimes i want to strangle him, but i'm lucky that up to this point that our relationship is one of the 10% of relationships that are real. Honesty and PATIENCE is #1 in our relationship . . .  I welcome you to the site. . and wish you well. i've seen a lot of woman from this site end up with a broken heart recently. . . 
09/5/2011- Met Waldo
12/12/2011- Started Dating
07/2/2012- 1st Trip
11/27/2012- 2nd Trip
1/3/2013- Got Married!!
3/20/2013- Came back to the USA after 4 mnths
4/10/2013- Sent I-130/I-129 for SO & 2 step Daughters
4/15/2013- NOA1 text, email received
10/15/2013-Contacted State Representative to get Professional Inquiry
10/21/2013-NOA 2 Email/Text(Gracias a Dios!)
10/25/2013-11/03/2013-3rd Trip
11/15/2013-NVC Received Case
11/19/2013-Received Case #'s [[NVC]]
11/19/2013-E-mail Choice of Agent(DS-261)
11/20/2013-Paid AOS $88
11/21/2013-Paid IV $230 for Hubby
11/25/2013-Sent AOS (I-864)Mailed Priority Mail
11/25/2013-DS-260 Online for Hubby
11/26/2013-Paid IV $230 for Step Daughters
11/28/2013-DS-260 Online for Step Daughters
12/02/2013-Sent DS-260 Supporting Documents Priority Mail
12/25/2013-Merry X-mas 2 me, NVC sent checklist
12/30/2013- NVC reviewed DS-260 Documents
1/08/2014- Sent NVC the CHECKLIST w/ missing documents
2/11/2014-NVC received all doc., waiting for Interview Date!!
2/28/2014- Got our CITA date 04/07/2014!!!!
3/17/2014- Hubby and 2 step-daughters went to medical.
4/02/2014- 4th trip
4/07/2014- ALL 3 APPROVED!
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6/13/2014- Received hubby & Step-Daughters Green Cards.
----------------
01/11/16--I-751 Lifting Conditions $505+$85+$85+$85
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Offline Biscuits

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2016, 07:50:05 pm »
Thanks.  I think a lot of people don't know how to date any man, nationality notwithstanding.

Offline Jenny429

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2016, 07:58:03 am »
I just saw this post..

D-Mo.. not nice that you never met a Dominican different then the rest... lol.... Come on now... I hope you aren't serious since you did live there.. I met many beautiful Dominican people while there... I just met a lot more sankies, and mujeriegos then others... But there are WONDERFUL men and women in the DR..

He sounds like a good guy Biscuit.. but you have to be careful... You have to really get to know him, and run at any red flags..  Never send him money....  What part of the country is he in?   Don't rush into marriage.. keep getting to know him and enjoy the "ride"..

<3 Jenny <3
6/9/2011 - Met Francisco while living in the DR became wonderful friends..
2/14/2013 - Married Francisco
9/5/2013 Deposited I-130 via DCF
10/2/2013 Received NOA2
10/28/2013 - Visa Approved
11/1/2013 - Visa Delivered
11/9/2013 - Arrived in NY
9/21/2016 - Greencard without conditions arrived!
Studying for Citizenship now.. :)

Offline D-mo

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2016, 06:42:00 pm »
I just saw this post..

D-Mo.. not nice that you never met a Dominican different then the rest... lol.... Come on now... I hope you aren't serious since you did live there.. I met many beautiful Dominican people while there... I just met a lot more sankies, and mujeriegos then others... But there are WONDERFUL men and women in the DR..

He sounds like a good guy Biscuit.. but you have to be careful... You have to really get to know him, and run at any red flags..  Never send him money....  What part of the country is he in?   Don't rush into marriage.. keep getting to know him and enjoy the "ride"..

Just to clarify to you Jenny........   I didn't say Dominicans as a whole, I said Dominican GUY.

Yes, there are some wonderful people in D.R. My wife for one!!!  Just because a guy likes to put notches on his bed post doesn't necessarily make him a BAD guy, that wasn't my point. A guy can have a heart of gold, and still like to sew his oats, so could women......

D-mo

"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline Jenny429

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Re: My family thinks my DR boyfriend is a scammer
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2016, 11:53:39 pm »
Well.... YES tons of Mujeriegos.. :)

TONS.... But living there I met some that weren't.. but a high percentage.. YES... lol..

Come on though.. not all are running around trying to sow their oats.. lol.....

 :rotfl:

<3 Jenny <3
6/9/2011 - Met Francisco while living in the DR became wonderful friends..
2/14/2013 - Married Francisco
9/5/2013 Deposited I-130 via DCF
10/2/2013 Received NOA2
10/28/2013 - Visa Approved
11/1/2013 - Visa Delivered
11/9/2013 - Arrived in NY
9/21/2016 - Greencard without conditions arrived!
Studying for Citizenship now.. :)

 

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