I don't know what to think...

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[Ronda]

I ma so sorry, this situation sucks, and I think most previous posters are absolutely right that he's most likely concerned about a status-type situation.

I just want to add that if you are imagining 'the worst' - ie, that hubby had another/more woman or only wants you to get to the USA - would Grandpa really be the only one to know about it? Surely other people who love you would know, and they would tell you. It sounds like you're making yourself sick over what-ifs and worrying and stressing - you DON'T need those doubts in your life!

[rhenny]

I agree with what every one is saying Brandy...

You got to live your life, if grandpa is going to ACT this way and treat you bad because you love some one

only HE suffers in the long run.

He will miss out on many opportunities in your life that would make him happy.

Those are HIS issues and he needs to deal with it.

You don't do that to family. PERIOD.

[twincactus]

Agree with Rhenny and the sad thing is he is not going to change at 80. That's why I said be happy with your husband and forget the old bag.

-Tim

[MariaLudwin]

I can completely relate to what you are going through except I am going through that with my dad and step-mom....it's been a living hell and completely worn me down emotionally and mentally but if I can give one piece of advice it's live YOUR life (sometimes I wish I can take my own advice)...by them not accepting my soon to be husband makes them lose out on the good things that will go on in our marriage....you are already married and enjoy it-- don't let grandpa be a buzzkill; whatever his reason is for doing this to you be a bigger person than him and try as hard as you can to not let it affect you because trust me once it does it is not pretty.

[brandylb22]

Thank you, I appreciate all the kind words. I have been trying to put it in the back of my mind, because I am sort of thinking the same thing as all of you. And with the cita coming up, I have bigger things to worry about.

And most importantly, I did not think it would be fair at all to question my husband about it or even tell him about it. He's going to be going through a huge adjustment just coming here. I would never want him to have to worry about that.

Also, I thought I would add a small detail that I didn't mention earlier. I found out from my aunt that my gf had told her that he just didn't care for the people. We took him to the river the day after the wedding and made sancocho and she told me that he was upset because they were littering and peeing outside in front of people. I guess that goes back to him being 2 generations before us and having his own ideals of the world. But what did he expect? This is how they grew up. It's what they're used to.

I will just try to pretend like it didn't happen. If my gf wants to show up to family events, fine. If not, fine too. I guess the ball's in his court. But thanks for the support.

Why are you letting this 80 year old geezer put you into tears?
I was pretty much in shock and just couldn't believe it. It was very emotional. I didn't know if he was trying to tell me that he saw my husband do something terrible or not. There was a lot going thru my mind at that moment.

Your husband is your new family now and you need to just ignore grandpa since he is being an asshole.
I know, and that's why I won't ever tell my husband because he would be so hurt if he found out.
Where are you in PA? I may be in Philly on the 5th of Feb if you wanna meet up.
I'm just outside of Philly, but I will be down there for the cita. Maybe next time!

-Tim

[Mar]

I think is a racial issue, those old people are stuck in there ways.

[mexicana]

Hey girl, i went through this with cousins that judged before meeting my SO. They manipulated my emotions and tried to get me to cut things off with him. NOW the ones that judged are best friends with him. You cannot allow people to run your life. It seems bad now but it will get better once your husband is here. Focus on the cita and your husband!

[josiee225]

I think is a racial issue, those old people are stuck in there ways.

I agree..think about ur new family..wish is u n hubby

[PrincessGissell]

It seems like its a common thing that parents/family go ape shit when their daughters marry 'some dominican guy'. 

I got married to a dominican guy and my mother met him once.  Oh he is nice blah blah blah!  ((Keep in mind that my entire family is Dominican and they are all different colors, me probably being the lightest)) Well when my whole family found out that I eloped via Facebook (If they paid attention it wouldn't have been such a shocker but I digress!) that didn't go down too well.  All I will say is less than 3 weeks of my marriage, and my wedding ring vanished!  It has been MIA since I went back home to visit.  I am sure that it is long gone by now.

But what I am trying to say is that don't let that stress you out because at the end of the day, you are a married woman and while it would be nice that everyone in your family could share your joy, sometimes its just an unrealistic expectation and some people just need time to get used to it.  You are happily married, something that is definetly rare now a days amongst married couples, concentrate on your future. 

Eventually they will see why you married him and get over their shit, and if not who cares, you are going to be soo deliriously happy that you probably won't even notice.

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