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Author Topic: Dominican men (and women)  (Read 28029 times)

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Offline ElDuroBulldog

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2011, 07:51:08 am »
A LOT of Dominican men cheat.

MOST if given the opportunity.

That I know of, NONE of my male relatives and male friends do. I am not saying they don't do it, I just don't know about it.

I know of A LOT that do cheat, have a few women on the side and even have kids with their girlfriend while the wife is at home taking care of the house and kids.

About Dominican women:

The biggest mistakes male foreigners make is to think their Dominican girlfriend/wives don't cheat.

Dominican women are known to cheat on their foreign boyfriends/husbands. NOT all, of course, but A LOT of them!.

The "this is my primo", when in fact he is her lover, stories are plenty.

I knew of a girl in Santiago who had about 5 American "boyfriends". 2 she took to her house when they visited and the rest she used to stay with in Resorts and gave them some stories why they couldn't come to her house.

And YES, the family and neighbors never told the 2 she took home about the other.

They did labeled them as "pendejo" and "pariguayo", though.
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Offline Twincactus

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2011, 07:51:36 am »
D-mo,

Finally another person who says what I have been saying for YEARS. It's a cultural thing people and you aren't going to change them. Kudos to you for telling it like it is. Dominican men EXPECT their wives to look the other way when they are with their cueros.

Jenn, I love ya to death but to say that the women cheat like that is just wrong. The reason most women there want an American man is that they think they will get monogamy that way. In most cases they are correct because they typically go for older men (also cultural) and the older American men want a real lady who is monogamous too and respects them as men. Dominican women long for a man who will be faithful to them and raise their family with them. This is something they think is unobtainable in the DR so they look to the USA to try to find it as American men are seen as more faithful than Dominican men. It all meshes together. Of course, there are Dominican women who cheat as in all cultures, but GENERALLY, they want to be faithful to their man and they want their man to be faithful to them.

-Tim
Tim, the reason most Dominican women want an American is NOT because "they think they will get monogamy".

MOST Dominican women want an American because they see Americans as rich and also as a ticket out of the country.

And let me say that when I say "MOST", I am not including some Middle Class, Upper Middle Class, High Class or Elite Class women.

MOST of those women want NOTHING to do with Americans. Wouldn't give them the time of day even if their lives depended on it.


Duro, we agree on most things but on this subject we don't. I have seen what you are talking about and yes it DOES exist but not on the scale you keep saying. There really are decent women in the DR who LIKE Americans not so much because they are Americans but because they like white guys. Just like I like only black girls, my fiance' only likes white guys, and my ex wife only liked white guys with a few extra pounds.

I can spot a gold digger or visa snatcher in the DR a mile away. Maybe some guys are that stupid but c'mon, they can't ALL be looking for money or visas. Do they want to come here and better themselves? SURE they do, but the key here is will they stay with you after they get here. My opinion is the women will but the guys will jet. I've seen some guys with butt ugly white women right here on our forum and I wonder how they can't possibly KNOW that he is looking for a visa. And no, I'm not saying who the butt ugly women are, I'm sure they have some idea.

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Offline ElDuroBulldog

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #22 on: May 16, 2011, 08:04:00 am »
D-mo,

Finally another person who says what I have been saying for YEARS. It's a cultural thing people and you aren't going to change them. Kudos to you for telling it like it is. Dominican men EXPECT their wives to look the other way when they are with their cueros.

Jenn, I love ya to death but to say that the women cheat like that is just wrong. The reason most women there want an American man is that they think they will get monogamy that way. In most cases they are correct because they typically go for older men (also cultural) and the older American men want a real lady who is monogamous too and respects them as men. Dominican women long for a man who will be faithful to them and raise their family with them. This is something they think is unobtainable in the DR so they look to the USA to try to find it as American men are seen as more faithful than Dominican men. It all meshes together. Of course, there are Dominican women who cheat as in all cultures, but GENERALLY, they want to be faithful to their man and they want their man to be faithful to them.

-Tim
Tim, the reason most Dominican women want an American is NOT because "they think they will get monogamy".

MOST Dominican women want an American because they see Americans as rich and also as a ticket out of the country.

And let me say that when I say "MOST", I am not including some Middle Class, Upper Middle Class, High Class or Elite Class women.

MOST of those women want NOTHING to do with Americans. Wouldn't give them the time of day even if their lives depended on it.


Duro, we agree on most things but on this subject we don't. I have seen what you are talking about and yes it DOES exist but not on the scale you keep saying. There really are decent women in the DR who LIKE Americans not so much because they are Americans but because they like white guys. Just like I like only black girls, my fiance' only likes white guys, and my ex wife only liked white guys with a few extra pounds.

I can spot a gold digger or visa snatcher in the DR a mile away. Maybe some guys are that stupid but c'mon, they can't ALL be looking for money or visas. Do they want to come here and better themselves? SURE they do, but the key here is will they stay with you after they get here. My opinion is the women will but the guys will jet. I've seen some guys with butt ugly white women right here on our forum and I wonder how they can't possibly KNOW that he is looking for a visa. And no, I'm not saying who the butt ugly women are, I'm sure they have some idea.

-Tim
Tim, I am not re-writing history here.

Just like Dominican males are known to use American women to get a visa, Dominican females are known for doing the same.

You are white so of course they will tell you they like white men.

What, you expect them to tell you they like black guys and risk not "grabbing" you?.

It's not like there are no white Dominicans.

By the way, I never said "ALL" are looking for money and visas. I said MOST.
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Offline Twincactus

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #23 on: May 16, 2011, 08:26:30 am »
Sorry, I just get tired of people acting like you can't find a good woman in the DR if you know what you're doing. I got my relatives telling me that all over again and then you so I'm a little edgy.

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Offline PrincessGissell

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #24 on: May 16, 2011, 08:36:39 am »
The original post from DMo should be the biggest reason you marry using your brain and not your reproductive organs. 

I was friends with my husband for months before we even met.  People forget the basics when meeting their SO's.  You have to judge the person not by their looks and how great they are in bed.  Take the time to look at the whole picture.  How they are with their family.  How proactive and independent they are in their own lives.  Past histories.

 


Offline ElDuroBulldog

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #25 on: May 16, 2011, 09:16:18 am »
Sorry, I just get tired of people acting like you can't find a good woman in the DR if you know what you're doing. I got my relatives telling me that all over again and then you so I'm a little edgy.

-Tim
Tim, you don't have to go far to find out the odds are against you and your relationship. Your own site will tell you.

I am not saying that I wish it goes bad, NOT AT ALL, just that the odds are against you.

That it CAN work and you live with her happily ever after, of course. Everything is possible.

Tim, even when a person knows what he is doing, there are SOME Dominican females that would eat you up, spit you out, dump you, kick you while you are down, take your money and laugh all the way to the bank as if NOTHING happened.
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Offline nacho l!bre

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #26 on: May 16, 2011, 09:56:47 am »
The original post from DMo should be the biggest reason you marry using your brain and not your reproductive organs. 

I was friends with my husband for months before we even met.  People forget the basics when meeting their SO's.  You have to judge the person not by their looks and how great they are in bed.  Take the time to look at the whole picture.  How they are with their family.  How proactive and independent they are in their own lives.  Past histories.

 

I'm glad to hear a woman's perspective on this subject. On that note, let me ask you, do you consider your husband to be the cheating type since the guys here are generalizing that most Dominican men are cheaters?

Offline mexicana

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #27 on: May 16, 2011, 10:25:00 am »
Last night Alex and I were talking about many of the discussions on DTTUSA and I asked him what he believed the most important part of the relationship was. His answer: understanding the needs of your partner.

Many women will say that they know the needs of their spouse, but do they really? I don’t have the perfect marriage…who really does? However, by me understanding and recognizing the needs, expectations and desires of my husband, it helps put out 99% of the fires that are started in many marriages.

Many Latino men get into cross-cultural relationships and think that everything is going to be fine and dandy when they arrive into the USA. What they don’t know is that the majority (yes, the MAJORITY) of women start to forget about the basic needs and desires that both have in the relationship. I may not be Dominican, but I married one and have come to learn a thing or two about how the culture works. I was brought up in a strict Mexican home and you would be surprised how many of our Latino cultures have the same DNA. I am thankful that although we come from different cultures and countries, our basic desires, values, traditions and necessities are the same.

I cannot say the same for many family and friends from Mexican AND Dominican culture who have brought their spouse to the USA. I could give dozens of examples of friends I’ve met through the process, friends I’ve had even BEFORE our process, and even family members who have gone through this process and their marriages and relationships are either on the rocks or have ended.

What’s been the basic ingredient as to why their relationships have taken a dive? Simple: people forget about the needs and desires of their spouse/partner. They end up treating them like crap. Forget the cleaning, forget the cooking, forget the intimacy, and forget the companionship. Things suddenly change once the feet are planted in the USA. It turns into always complaining, always neglecting, and always forgetting about what those basic needs are of the opposite person. Not only did he gain a Visa by coming here to the States, but many of these men also gain a spouse who complains about everything and refuses to be intimate with him, hates to cook, complains about always having to clean, complains about all the boxing, baseball, basketball, blah blah blah that he watches on TV, and the word “companionship” is just another word floating out in outer space without a meaning. So what does the guy do? Goes and looks for love in all the wrong places and things blow up. Then what does he do? He sends her the flowers, the chocolates, the love letters, the “I’m sorry” speech. Then what does she do? She takes him back, falls in love all over again and it’s a disgusting cycle that goes on and on and on. I’m not making excuses for a man going out and cheating, but it IS a 2 way-street and I highly doubt that the females in these pictures are completely innocent. I see it all the time with cousins, with family in Mexico, with members on this Board (yup) and with friends in DR and Mexico.
 
Mexi says that you can keep your chocolate, your flowers, fancy jewelry (ew) and your teddy bears that will collect dust after a few months. Not saying my man doesn’t do any of these things when it’s appropriate, but women seem to think that these things are what define the “love” in a relationship. “Oh, he cheated on me but sent me the most expensive roses in town. HE MUST LOVE ME!” Or “He must love me because my wedding ring cost him $10,000!” Oh please! These things are all in vain if a man can’t meet the basic needs of a woman. What I want is a man who can meet my needs, protect me, provide for me, be the man of the house, and provide leadership in our home and for our future; someone to meet my needs physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually.

Alex says save the time it takes to write a love letter, the money you spend to buy nice clothing, expensive cologne, and glamorous gifts. Why do women lavish men with these great gifts when they can’t even meet their man’s needs and basic desires at home? In Latin culture, men expect their meal after a long day at work, lovin’ when they need it, companionship, positive affirmation, and even a loving woman to give them an ice cold drink when he’s thirsty. And SO WHAT if it’s your 3rd time getting up to get him a beer!? Stop complaining! KNOW these expectations before you commit to a relationship or else you’ll be another one of these chicks who cry and wonder “where did I go wrong?”

Some may call it a slave-relationship, but I call it the best friendship. My husband is my best friend, and I’m his. I’m always thinking about what needs I can meet, how I can please him, love him and cater to his needs. And ya know what? He’s always thinking about how he can protect me, provide for me, and secure our future and our future family. It’s all about understanding what his needs and desires are, and him doing the same for me. We were both independent, educated, career-oriented individuals when we met and we have learned to be dependent on one another, trusting that the other will meet the needs and desires that we have in the depths in our heart and in the genetics of our cultures.
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Offline PrincessGissell

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #28 on: May 16, 2011, 12:05:39 pm »
I'm glad to hear a woman's perspective on this subject. On that note, let me ask you, do you consider your husband to be the cheating type since the guys here are generalizing that most Dominican men are cheaters?

I consider my husband to be a lot of things, but a cheater...No.  He hasn't given me cause to think that way.  He came from a household where his dad didn't know what it meant to keep his penis in his pants, and I truly feel that his mom suffered a lot because of it, which is why she only had one child.  (4 kids with other women, and one women had 2 of his kids.  That has to hurt a womans ego)  He has always been very attached to his mom and the impartial way he and his father get along, I tend to think that my husband goes the extra mile not to be anything like his dad.   

But I understand why Dominicans have such a bad rap.  I have seen it, I have lived it.  My dad has twins with another woman, my mom suffered with that for a long time.  I think that me giving birth to my son helped her a bit.  My uncle, living in DR with his wife...Every Friday was Viernes Social and he was out the door come 4 pm to go party while his wife stayed home.  My other uncles...They also didn't know what it meant to keep their dick in their pants.  But by the same token, I have had plenty of aunts and female cousins, who took what they needed from different men. 

Dominican culture in general is OVERLY sexualized  ((You can't drive within a 2 mile radius without passing by a motel)), there is not enough morality nor respect towards commitments.  Which is why people need to use their brains when entering into a relationship and I guess that goes for any nationality, because its not limited to Dominican Republic.  I am Dominican which is why I see that more often, but I am sure other cultures probably struggle with the same demons.

Its pretty sad, but again, that is why women can't go thinking with their 'Fun Buttons', nor men with their 'Magic Sticks'.   :downtown:   You have to be smart about choosing your partner if you are looking for a long term relationship.  You should make a checklist of what you want in a partner, and don't settle for less. 

If there is one thing I learned from my exhusband was that it was better to be alone than with someone you considered deadweight.  And I held out for what felt like forever, but you get used to it.  Eventually I found someone who matched everything I had on my checklist, it didn't come in the 'package or form' I expected but so far its working out great for me. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't have the perfect marriage, we have days that its just "Fight Club" status, and we want to kill eachother.  But I have come to appreciate that we don't have normal fights, and that 99.9999% of our fights are the DUMBEST things any normal person has ever heard of. 

Example: We stopped talking to eachother for about 3 days...Because he swore that Brooklyn was a county, and I said it was a city.  In the end we were both wrong, because Brooklyn is a burrough ((Have nooo idea why the hell I didn't remember that at the time)) but still I appreciate, that cheating, money and manipulation have never been an issue.  Because lets face it, those are things that can end any marriage REAL QUICK!
« Last Edit: May 16, 2011, 12:17:06 pm by PrincessGissell »

Offline Twincactus

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #29 on: May 16, 2011, 12:25:57 pm »
Quote
In Latin culture, men expect their meal after a long day at work, lovin’ when they need it, companionship, positive affirmation, and even a loving woman to give them an ice cold drink when he’s thirsty. And SO WHAT if it’s your 3rd time getting up to get him a beer!? Stop complaining! KNOW these expectations before you commit to a relationship or else you’ll be another one of these chicks who cry and wonder “where did I go wrong?”
So Mexi, you do this kind of stuff because you LOVE him right? And he does things for you too. And you actually ENJOY getting him his third beer as I understand it. Please explain some more for those gringas.....well I guess if you don't feel it it won't matter how many times you are told, you have to do it because you WANT to do it - like you do. Great explanation BTW. I think you hit the nail on the head. It's basically how you show your love - not slavery. The women who think it's slavery really don't love their man, they just want a sperm donor (and trust me there's tons of those women).

-Tim
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Offline mexicana

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #30 on: May 16, 2011, 12:51:53 pm »
Quote
In Latin culture, men expect their meal after a long day at work, lovin’ when they need it, companionship, positive affirmation, and even a loving woman to give them an ice cold drink when he’s thirsty. And SO WHAT if it’s your 3rd time getting up to get him a beer!? Stop complaining! KNOW these expectations before you commit to a relationship or else you’ll be another one of these chicks who cry and wonder “where did I go wrong?”
So Mexi, you do this kind of stuff because you LOVE him right? And he does things for you too. And you actually ENJOY getting him his third beer as I understand it. Please explain some more for those gringas.....well I guess if you don't feel it it won't matter how many times you are told, you have to do it because you WANT to do it - like you do. Great explanation BTW. I think you hit the nail on the head. It's basically how you show your love - not slavery. The women who think it's slavery really don't love their man, they just want a sperm donor (and trust me there's tons of those women).

-Tim

Yep. Believe it or not, it thrills me to see that my husband lights up when I make him his favorite meal, surprise him with a cold drink when he gets home from work, or when he brags about how clean I am. I was cooking and overheard him talking to his sister on the phone. He was bragging to her about how I made the best habichuelas con dulce that he had ever tasted in his life and how great of a cook I am. Our family was asking him how we enjoy our new place we moved into and Alex was going on and on about how it feels just like home and how I had a great touch at making the place sparkle and feel at home. I lit up and this spoke to me emotionally, as any woman desires to hear  positive things being said about her by her spouse. These are things that I do because I was taught how to do them; to me, they may be "just things" but to my husband they are great attributes that mean the world to him after a long day at work.

Someone on this site who USED to post and doesn't post anymore had shared with me something. She HATED to clean, hated to keep the house well kept, and absolutely HATED cooking. The base of many of their fights and frustrations were rooted in these problems. They began to look for local housekeepers who could come and clean the house and family members to cook for them. They did all of this just to avoid a fight. The woman looked at it as "fixing a temporary problem" but to the husband it showed her lack of motives. This wasn't the only problem. This person would complain about EVERYTHING that her husband did, knock him down verbally, you name it--she said it.

So, she should not have been so surprised when he became more and more distant from her emotionally and physically, right? When it all finally blew up that he had been cheating on her, he became the "bad guy" in the eyes of everyone. No one happened to look at the way that she was acting as a wife.

Sure the lady didn't cheat, but I believe she was just as guilty in pushing her husband away. I'm not saying that cheating should ever be tolerated nor are there excuses to cover it up, but what I do believe is that when these marriages blow up there usually is a reason behind it. Lack of understanding the needs of one another as well as the cultures has a LOT to do with it. I believe very few people are aware of the many expectations when they get married, nor do they even know what they themselves expect in a relationship. Couples need to seek marriage counseling or really evaluate what they want in a marriage before they just jump the broom and throw a ring on a finger.

Just because you speak spanish, have been to the DR a dozen times...this does not make you an expert. Know the expectations before you jump into this.
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Offline Cantinflas

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #31 on: May 16, 2011, 01:32:59 pm »
Mexi is exactly what most men are looking for in a woman, shesh its horrendous how American women now days treat their husbands. No wonder most guys here are outsourcing their wives.

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #32 on: May 16, 2011, 01:55:13 pm »
I'm glad to hear a woman's perspective on this subject. On that note, let me ask you, do you consider your husband to be the cheating type since the guys here are generalizing that most Dominican men are cheaters?

I consider my husband to be a lot of things, but a cheater...No.  He hasn't given me cause to think that way.  He came from a household where his dad didn't know what it meant to keep his penis in his pants, and I truly feel that his mom suffered a lot because of it, which is why she only had one child.  (4 kids with other women, and one women had 2 of his kids.  That has to hurt a womans ego)  He has always been very attached to his mom and the impartial way he and his father get along, I tend to think that my husband goes the extra mile not to be anything like his dad.   

But I understand why Dominicans have such a bad rap.  I have seen it, I have lived it.  My dad has twins with another woman, my mom suffered with that for a long time.  I think that me giving birth to my son helped her a bit.  My uncle, living in DR with his wife...Every Friday was Viernes Social and he was out the door come 4 pm to go party while his wife stayed home.  My other uncles...They also didn't know what it meant to keep their dick in their pants.  But by the same token, I have had plenty of aunts and female cousins, who took what they needed from different men. 

Dominican culture in general is OVERLY sexualized  ((You can't drive within a 2 mile radius without passing by a motel)), there is not enough morality nor respect towards commitments.  Which is why people need to use their brains when entering into a relationship and I guess that goes for any nationality, because its not limited to Dominican Republic.  I am Dominican which is why I see that more often, but I am sure other cultures probably struggle with the same demons.

Its pretty sad, but again, that is why women can't go thinking with their 'Fun Buttons', nor men with their 'Magic Sticks'.   :downtown:   You have to be smart about choosing your partner if you are looking for a long term relationship.  You should make a checklist of what you want in a partner, and don't settle for less. 

If there is one thing I learned from my exhusband was that it was better to be alone than with someone you considered deadweight.  And I held out for what felt like forever, but you get used to it.  Eventually I found someone who matched everything I had on my checklist, it didn't come in the 'package or form' I expected but so far its working out great for me. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't have the perfect marriage, we have days that its just "Fight Club" status, and we want to kill eachother.  But I have come to appreciate that we don't have normal fights, and that 99.9999% of our fights are the DUMBEST things any normal person has ever heard of. 

Example: We stopped talking to eachother for about 3 days...Because he swore that Brooklyn was a county, and I said it was a city.  In the end we were both wrong, because Brooklyn is a burrough ((Have nooo idea why the hell I didn't remember that at the time)) but still I appreciate, that cheating, money and manipulation have never been an issue.  Because lets face it, those are things that can end any marriage REAL QUICK!


Brooklyn is a county. Kings County. Each of the 5 Boros of NYC is one of the 70 or so counties of NY State. The other counties are New York (Manhattan), Queens, Richmond ( Staten Island) and Bronx. OK, now back to our topic.
07/15/2009 - Met the most incredible and beautiful woman in the world.

12/06/2009 - Engaged to la mujer de mis suenos.

07/30/2010 - Fiancee's cita date for IR-1 visa. Only took 8 years.

Everything on hold due to an irresponsible third party without concern for best interest of a child. FML

Thanks to my Congresswoman's office the Embassy has relented on the Declaration of birth.

10/19/10 - Cita to determine whether the boy gets a passport or visa.

10/19/10 - Immigrant visa approved for the boy and fiancee's visa released. Now we are just waiting for DOMEX.

11/03/10 - Visas delivered by DOMEX

11/11/10 - Flying to NY. Together para siempre.

11/19/10 - Wedding Day. Civil Ceremony


"Frank is a cool guy."  SomeGuy4186

read my blog - www.randomthoughtsonnothingimportant.blogspot.com

Offline 3sheik

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #33 on: May 16, 2011, 05:06:21 pm »

For some reason, i believe that the Dominican women from NYC look much better than the Dominicans living in the island.

REALLY?? Have you been to NYC recently? Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.
09/07/2007 <><><><> Married in POP, RD
09/25/2007 <><><><> Submitted I-130 (CR-1)
11/05/2008 <><><><> CR-1 Cita - Approved
11/15/2008 <><><><> POE - JFK

Lifting Conditions
=========================
09/23/2010 <><><><> Sent I-751
09/25/2010 <><><><> VT SC Rcvd
09/27/2010 <><><><> Check Cashed
09/29/2010 <><><><> NOA1 Rcvd
10/23/2010 <><><><> NOA2 Rcvd
11/16/2010 <><><><> Biometrics Appt
01/24/2011 <><><><> GC Received! [WEPA!]

Naturalization
=================================
12/01/2011 <><><><> Sent N-400
12/12/2011 <><><><> Check Cashed; Email Notification
12/14/2011 <><><><> NOA received (dated 12/07/2011)
12/29/2011 <><><><> Biometrics Appt
03/20/2012 <><><><> Naturalization Interview - Oath of Allegiance Taken - Certificate of Naturalization Acquired - Citizenship YA!!
06/11/2012 <><><><> Wife Received her US Passport

I-130 for Suegra
=================================
05/02/2012 <><><><> Sent I-130
05/07/2012 <><><><> Received NOA-1

Offline D-mo

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #34 on: May 16, 2011, 05:11:33 pm »
This topic along with the original poster (D-Mo) have taken generalization to the extreme. To say that it's our culture (to cheat on our women) while basically including 100% of born and raised Dominican men couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm 100% Dominican and i have never cheated on my wife and never will. 

Most of these women that share their stories about being cheated on and used for a visa, unfortunately married low class members of Dominican society; The type of men that live a life of struggle and that are dying to emigrate to the U.S. Those types of men typically lack morals, party and drink all the time.

I you marry a "chopo de barrio" then chances are you will get a bad one. However, if you marry somebody from a reputable family, you will be ok but those types are not typically trying to emigrate to the U.S. because they already live comfortable lives in D.R.

Nacho, I have quite a few friends that are well educated and well off Dominican men in DR. Doctors, Lawyers, Politicians, etc. They ALL do it! It is all a matter of how well they hide their tracks! They all admit it and they all invite me to go out with them "hunting". When ya got money in DR, ya gotta know how to hide your shenanigans from your wife!

I'm sure there are some that don't do it. But the chances are that if they don't, then they did it at one point in their lives.

You left DR at 16, at that age I would suspect that there wasn't much observation going on your part back then. I'm not criticizing you by the way!.

D-mo
"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline Ennovi

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #35 on: May 16, 2011, 05:50:18 pm »
This topic along with the original poster (D-Mo) have taken generalization to the extreme. To say that it's our culture (to cheat on our women) while basically including 100% of born and raised Dominican men couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm 100% Dominican and i have never cheated on my wife and never will. 

Most of these women that share their stories about being cheated on and used for a visa, unfortunately married low class members of Dominican society; The type of men that live a life of struggle and that are dying to emigrate to the U.S. Those types of men typically lack morals, party and drink all the time.

I you marry a "chopo de barrio" then chances are you will get a bad one. However, if you marry somebody from a reputable family, you will be ok but those types are not typically trying to emigrate to the U.S. because they already live comfortable lives in D.R.
You live in the states correct? How long have you been here? Of course there may be ONE Dominican man who doesn't have a woman or two on the side so there - YOU are the exception. I didn't marry a low class Dominican but I sure saw her male relatives cheat every chance they got - and right out in the open like they didn't care. I'm quite sure their wives knew about it. One was an architect who is quite well to do. Yep, I'm sire they ALL aren't that way, but we'll generalize here for the sake of discussion. Remember, YOU are different and we know that OK?

-Tim

I'm a naturalized U.S. Citizen who came to live in the states after finishing high school in D.R. at the age of 16. Tell you what, if you're ever in D.R. at the same time i'm there, i will invite you to hang out with me and my friends so you can see how much fun we can have without having to cheat on our wives. Then again, you might not really enjoy that....lol

I do believe it's possible to find a DR MEN that doesn't cheat. .. I personally don't think mine has for the past 6 years of marriage.. I understand this thread talks about DR MEN.. but basically it's MEN in general. IF you ask Italian women, they will say their Italian men cheat, The same if you would ask Russians, Mexican, etc...
***Ennovi & Gus forever***
After 25 months wait..Visa Approved 4/14/08
POE 4/28/08
Baby boy  3/2010 !

Offline 3sheik

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #36 on: May 16, 2011, 06:14:34 pm »
ALL men are born to be BREEDERS, i.e. polygamists. It's in our DNA. We humans condition ourselves to be monogamous; it's not natural.

I know the topic is specific to Dominicans as this is a DR forum, but men are the same no matter the ethnicity. If a man has the wherewithal, (and with a few $$ in his pocket, he always does) he is always struggling between the decision to "cheat/not to cheat."

To cheat or not to cheat boils down to how much self-confidence you have. Some men don't feel the need to have to put any more notches in their belt - while some need that symbol of machismo all through adulthood.

Socio-economics don't have anything to do with monogamy, the most recent, glaring example of this being Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

and here's a morsel of advice to all: stop worrying whether your SO is faithful or not. There's nothing you can do to prevent infidelity, but much you can do to instigate it.
09/07/2007 <><><><> Married in POP, RD
09/25/2007 <><><><> Submitted I-130 (CR-1)
11/05/2008 <><><><> CR-1 Cita - Approved
11/15/2008 <><><><> POE - JFK

Lifting Conditions
=========================
09/23/2010 <><><><> Sent I-751
09/25/2010 <><><><> VT SC Rcvd
09/27/2010 <><><><> Check Cashed
09/29/2010 <><><><> NOA1 Rcvd
10/23/2010 <><><><> NOA2 Rcvd
11/16/2010 <><><><> Biometrics Appt
01/24/2011 <><><><> GC Received! [WEPA!]

Naturalization
=================================
12/01/2011 <><><><> Sent N-400
12/12/2011 <><><><> Check Cashed; Email Notification
12/14/2011 <><><><> NOA received (dated 12/07/2011)
12/29/2011 <><><><> Biometrics Appt
03/20/2012 <><><><> Naturalization Interview - Oath of Allegiance Taken - Certificate of Naturalization Acquired - Citizenship YA!!
06/11/2012 <><><><> Wife Received her US Passport

I-130 for Suegra
=================================
05/02/2012 <><><><> Sent I-130
05/07/2012 <><><><> Received NOA-1

Offline D-mo

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #37 on: May 16, 2011, 06:15:13 pm »
Let me just add to what I just posted.

Dominican men cheat, and yes there are Dominican women that cheat as well. The percentage of women cheating is LIKELY far lower than the percentage of Dominican men that cheat.  We can even narrow my knowledge down to the areas of Santiago and Bonao, thats fine with me. But if things are this way in these areas, bet your bottom dollar that things are exactly the same in other areas as well. Why? because this bahavior (probably due to under-education) IS a cultural more in DR.

I will be the first to say that I was with a Dominican woman BEFORE that couldn't keep her legs closed in my absence even if it would save her life! SHE was from the campo.... The cuero capital of Santiago to be exact......... La Canela! She was incredibly uneducated (bookwise). It turned out she was very educated (streetwise).  And that IS pretty much the norm for Campasinos. There are no doubt exceptions to that statement, but few and far between. I heard all the "cousin, uncle, etc" stories!

I can also say that I saw LESS of this type of behavior in women who where raised around the city or close by. BUT, the behavior didn't really change for men who where raised in the same areas.


That ratio of men compared to women cheating is pretty much world wide!

American men cheat, but I guarantee you the percentage of American men that cheat is far less than that of Dominican men. American women cheat also, but again, the percentage is lower. Carry that around the world, more men cheat than women according to "studies".

The subject here is DOMINICAN men and women.


D-mo
"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline D-mo

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #38 on: May 16, 2011, 06:18:45 pm »
: stop worrying whether your SO is faithful or not. There's nothing you can do to prevent infidelity, but much you can do to instigate it.


 :yeah:  I agree with this statement 100%!


D-mo
"You can't fix stupid"  Ron White

Offline Jenny429

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Re: Dominican men (and women)
« Reply #39 on: May 16, 2011, 06:57:13 pm »
Jenn if you're gonna write for a living I have to correct you.

"but I would never except a man who disrespects me"

Should be:

"but I would never accept a man who disrespects me"

-Tim
 

Wow Tim, did I shit in your farina this morning? I actually wrote it when I was very tired, and never went back to proofread it.  Because I do write for a living, I will be the first to admit that I don't ever proofread my "fun" stuff.. 

Jen
<3 Jenny <3
6/9/2011 - Met Francisco while living in the DR became wonderful friends..
2/14/2013 - Married Francisco
http://www.myhubbylovesme.com
9/5/2013 Deposited I-130 via DCF
10/2/2013 Received NOA2





 

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