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Author Topic: Jess & Jose are separating  (Read 23958 times)

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Offline marcfranc

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #60 on: June 28, 2011, 02:22:07 pm »
I can't help it but to feel regret running through my blood.
Jose officially moves out of the apartment tonight; & him moving out just makes his betrayal feel even more real... And it hurts.

 >:(

Jessie it is going to hurt, for quite some time. There is no way to avoid the pain. It is ok to cry. It is even healthy to cry. I know that I did. But you can not make this the defining moment in the book of your life. When you write your autobiography, let this be the smallest chapter. It will take you between 1 to 2 years to emotionally recover from this broken marriage. At least that is what the experts say.  Do not try and rush the process and avoid the biggest mistake of all. Jumping into a new relationship. I know you think that is the last thing that you would do, but when your feelings are hurt and your emotions are raw it is so easy to fall into. I do not know your situation, but if you can, get a new apartment. Clean slate. New life. The most important thing of all, take it one day at a time. Tomorrow is not just the beginning of a new day, it is the beginning of a whole new life. 

Bring Your Dominican Family to the USA - Dominicans to the USA

Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #60 on: June 28, 2011, 02:22:07 pm »

Offline yelenak

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #61 on: June 28, 2011, 03:24:15 pm »
No more feminist gringas in my life ever again.

Canti, I consider myself to be a feminist.  ;) And by your definition I am a gringa. But let me tell you, you will have hard time finding a person kinder, more fair and reasonable than me. I don't get catty nor do I get spiteful. I will get pissed but calm down right away and will ALWAYS try to see it from the other person's perspective. I believe in respect, honor, integrity, loyalty, compassion and appreciation. The point I am trying to make is be selective with a character of a person, not a label. See how she reacts in different scenarios with different people while you are still dating, it will give you a glimpse of what you can expect when things get rough.
CR1 TIMELINE:
------------------------------------------------------------
Married:                                        10/14/08
I-130: Mailed                                10/28/08
Case Completed                            3/17/09
CITA!!!!                                         5/15/09  - Approved
Keiler Argelis is born in SDQ 1 hr before our scheduled POE flight  - 5/23/09

Finally 2nd successful attempt at POE on 6/12/09 as a family of 3!

LIFTING CONDITIONS:
---------------------------------------------------------------
5/12/11 - Mailed I-751 via Certified Mail
5/16/11 - NOA1
6/27/11 - Biometrics Appt
10/5/11 - GC production ordered
============================================
7/12/2010 Being in love with your family is the best feeling in the world!

Offline yelenak

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #62 on: June 28, 2011, 03:32:45 pm »
Jess,

Don't look back and don't regret. If you would’ve not gotten married and brought him over, you would have always wondered "what if..?” especially, if your next relationship was hitting rough patches. Trust me; this is a good experience for you. You were happy while it lasted and you learned what you can and cannot live without. You have discovered a little bit more of you in the process. The pain is temporary. Time heals all wounds. New love will make you forget all about this pain. And please don’t punish the next guy for Jose’s mistakes. New guy – fresh start (when time comes).

Love,
Yele
CR1 TIMELINE:
------------------------------------------------------------
Married:                                        10/14/08
I-130: Mailed                                10/28/08
Case Completed                            3/17/09
CITA!!!!                                         5/15/09  - Approved
Keiler Argelis is born in SDQ 1 hr before our scheduled POE flight  - 5/23/09

Finally 2nd successful attempt at POE on 6/12/09 as a family of 3!

LIFTING CONDITIONS:
---------------------------------------------------------------
5/12/11 - Mailed I-751 via Certified Mail
5/16/11 - NOA1
6/27/11 - Biometrics Appt
10/5/11 - GC production ordered
============================================
7/12/2010 Being in love with your family is the best feeling in the world!

Offline mrsamancio

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #63 on: June 28, 2011, 05:43:39 pm »
While I'm very sad for Jess's predicament, I am glad that the chicken heads on the other thread have no case now on why fast and impulsive marriages work. They don't.

I got to know Julio for 2 years before I jumped ship and what I have learned from him: the good the bad and the ugly in the year I've lived with him is soooooooo much more than what I knew before I got married. We joke all the time saying "you are not the person I dated/married".

Jess made an impulsive decision to marry a month after dating. BUT she will walk away from this a stronger woman. She is not bound to him, to any major debts incurred together,and more importantly: no kids.

It may not have gonE the way she planned but she is definitely "Winning" a lo Charlie Sheen.

You know what kills me though....."eerrrrbody" around here portray their SOs as being the greatest thing since slice bread, some of them knowing that their SO is tricking on the side. Like, who are you kidding, child!  :nono:


 :luvu:  lololol
the Mrs.Amancio

Offline Yessie aka BanginMa

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #64 on: June 28, 2011, 05:55:03 pm »
I can't help it but to feel regret running through my blood.
Jose officially moves out of the apartment tonight; & him moving out just makes his betrayal feel even more real... And it hurts.

 >:(

DO NOT REGRET ... learn ... heal ... move on and be strong ... HE WILL REGRET
Step Daughter
0/29/2010 ~~~ Sent I-130
02/01/2010 ~~~ Rcvd NOAervice Center
05/05/2010 ~~~ NOA2 mailed
05/14/2010 ~~~ SDO# (not in system recvd mail)
05/26/2010 ~~~ Paid AOS and sent COA
07/29/2010 ~~~ Paid IV Fee Bill
08/09/2010 ~~~ Sent AOS and DS230 docs
08/10/2010 ~~~ NVC Rcvd
08/16/2010 ~~~ In NVC as Rcvd
09/01/2010 ~~~ Case Complete
11/15/2010 ~~~ Medical
11/30/2010 ~~~ Interview
12/03/2010 ~~~ Visa In Hand
12/21/2010 ~~~ Arrived in USA
Lifting Conditions
08/09/2010 ~~~ Sent I-751
08/10/2010 ~~~ VT SC Rcvd
08/13/2010 ~~~ Check Cashed
08/17/2010 ~~~ NOA1 Rcvd
08/26/2010 ~~~ Bio Appt Rcvd
09/07/2010 ~~~ Bio Appt
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10/28/2010 ~~~ GC in hand :)

Offline marcfranc

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #65 on: June 28, 2011, 07:25:51 pm »
Jess,

Don't look back and don't regret. If you would’ve not gotten married and brought him over, you would have always wondered "what if..?” especially, if your next relationship was hitting rough patches. Trust me; this is a good experience for you. You were happy while it lasted and you learned what you can and cannot live without. You have discovered a little bit more of you in the process. The pain is temporary. Time heals all wounds. New love will make you forget all about this pain. And please don’t punish the next guy for Jose’s mistakes. New guy – fresh start (when time comes).

Love,
Yele

I totally agree.

Offline nacho l!bre

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #66 on: June 29, 2011, 12:49:54 am »
People could be really cold hearted pointing out the mistakes that they think you made.

If that was directed towards me, re read my post.  I didn't say it was a mistake.  I said it was an impulsive decision.  And not for nothing, Jess has said the samething various times as well. 


My remark was not directed at you.

Pointing out the red flags is how we help those who are about to take the plunge be aware of what to expect. Some people can be meaner than others in their approach, but i believe spotting and discussing the red flags is necessary, even if the advice is not taken. I'm sure somebody else will start evaluating their own situation after reading some of the things sankies do for a visa.

Personally, i try to be as diplomatic as possible on my approach, but i will definitely let you know what i think about a certain situation regarding  :redflag:. :dude:

Offline Twincactus

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #67 on: June 29, 2011, 02:09:33 am »
No more feminist gringas in my life ever again.

Canti, I consider myself to be a feminist.  ;) And by your definition I am a gringa. But let me tell you, you will have hard time finding a person kinder, more fair and reasonable than me. I don't get catty nor do I get spiteful. I will get pissed but calm down right away and will ALWAYS try to see it from the other person's perspective. I believe in respect, honor, integrity, loyalty, compassion and appreciation. The point I am trying to make is be selective with a character of a person, not a label. See how she reacts in different scenarios with different people while you are still dating, it will give you a glimpse of what you can expect when things get rough.
Really? So you're judging yourself here? Well, it's refreshing to see a totally impartial opinion of yourself. Quite frankly, from what you posted about divorce and some other posts, I wouldn't say you were "fair" or "reasonable" at all. You seem bitter and domineering to me.
I have a new wife and it's my business.
 

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Offline nacho l!bre

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #68 on: June 29, 2011, 03:06:23 am »
No more feminist gringas in my life ever again.

Canti, I consider myself to be a feminist.  ;) And by your definition I am a gringa. But let me tell you, you will have hard time finding a person kinder, more fair and reasonable than me. I don't get catty nor do I get spiteful. I will get pissed but calm down right away and will ALWAYS try to see it from the other person's perspective. I believe in respect, honor, integrity, loyalty, compassion and appreciation. The point I am trying to make is be selective with a character of a person, not a label. See how she reacts in different scenarios with different people while you are still dating, it will give you a glimpse of what you can expect when things get rough.
Really? So you're judging yourself here? Well, it's refreshing to see a totally impartial opinion of yourself. Quite frankly, from what you posted about divorce and some other posts, I wouldn't say you were "fair" or "reasonable" at all. You seem bitter and domineering to me.

Hey man, isn't she Eastern european?? Cut her a break!  :rotfl:

I used to date a girl from Ukraine so i know exactly how they are....hard-headed and wanting to be in control, more so than a regular gringa.

Offline yelenak

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #69 on: June 29, 2011, 06:08:31 am »
Nacho,

Glad that you have learned the culture and personalities of all women from Eastern block by simply dating one of them. Enough said here.

Tim,

Yes, I am a pretty good judge of a character including my own. I know my flaws just as well as my qualities and I thrive to improve all of them as I grow and mature. However, what I am not is bitter! So far from it  that I am the opposite. I believe that if you believe in a person he/she will step up and try to be better as well. Only two people in my whole entire life proved me wrong. Anyway, you are missing a point here. What I was trying to say is: if you want to find a long term partner who will make you happy till eternity, look at their character not country of origin, race or ethnicity. For example, getting a Dominican wife won't guarantee you happiness. You are just drawn to their physical appearance and culture. But you still should study their character before you make a long term commitment.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2011, 06:22:21 am by yelenak »
CR1 TIMELINE:
------------------------------------------------------------
Married:                                        10/14/08
I-130: Mailed                                10/28/08
Case Completed                            3/17/09
CITA!!!!                                         5/15/09  - Approved
Keiler Argelis is born in SDQ 1 hr before our scheduled POE flight  - 5/23/09

Finally 2nd successful attempt at POE on 6/12/09 as a family of 3!

LIFTING CONDITIONS:
---------------------------------------------------------------
5/12/11 - Mailed I-751 via Certified Mail
5/16/11 - NOA1
6/27/11 - Biometrics Appt
10/5/11 - GC production ordered
============================================
7/12/2010 Being in love with your family is the best feeling in the world!

Offline nacho l!bre

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #70 on: June 29, 2011, 06:14:09 am »
Nacho,

Glad that you have learned the culture and personalities of all women from Eastern block by simply dating one of them. Enough said here.

Tim,

Yes, I am a pretty good judge of a character including my own. I know my flaws just as well as my qualities and I thrive to improve all of them as I grow and mature. However, what I am not is bitter! So far from it that I am the opposite. I believe that if you believe in a person he/she will step up and try to be better as well. Only two people in my whole entire life proved me wrong. Anyway, you are missing a point here. What I was trying to say is: if you want to find a long term partner who will make you happy till eternity, look at their character not country of origin, race or ethnicity. For example, getting a Dominican wife won't garuantee you happiness. Your are just drawn to their physical appearance and culture. But you still should study their character before you make a long term commitment

Yele, relax girl, it's just banter or in other words, just talking crap. But since you mentioned it, i've dated German, Ukrainian and Romanian women and i've also interacted with different international troops while in Afghanistan and i learned quite a bit from them.

Offline yelenak

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #71 on: June 29, 2011, 06:26:39 am »
Nacho,

Glad that you have learned the culture and personalities of all women from Eastern block by simply dating one of them. Enough said here.

Tim,

Yes, I am a pretty good judge of a character including my own. I know my flaws just as well as my qualities and I thrive to improve all of them as I grow and mature. However, what I am not is bitter! So far from it that I am the opposite. I believe that if you believe in a person he/she will step up and try to be better as well. Only two people in my whole entire life proved me wrong. Anyway, you are missing a point here. What I was trying to say is: if you want to find a long term partner who will make you happy till eternity, look at their character not country of origin, race or ethnicity. For example, getting a Dominican wife won't garuantee you happiness. Your are just drawn to their physical appearance and culture. But you still should study their character before you make a long term commitment

Yele, relax girl, it's just banter or in other words, just talking crap. But since you mentioned it, i've dated German, Ukrainian and Romanian women and i've also interacted with different international troops while in Afghanistan and i learned quite a bit from them.

I am completely calm. You have to also admit that by "learning quite a bit" does not mean you can predict how entire gender from a specific culture will act. This reasoning just lacks common sense. I have dated men from different cultures as well, including many Americans and I can tell you that not one person was the same. Instead, I learned what will make me happy.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2011, 06:35:18 am by yelenak »
CR1 TIMELINE:
------------------------------------------------------------
Married:                                        10/14/08
I-130: Mailed                                10/28/08
Case Completed                            3/17/09
CITA!!!!                                         5/15/09  - Approved
Keiler Argelis is born in SDQ 1 hr before our scheduled POE flight  - 5/23/09

Finally 2nd successful attempt at POE on 6/12/09 as a family of 3!

LIFTING CONDITIONS:
---------------------------------------------------------------
5/12/11 - Mailed I-751 via Certified Mail
5/16/11 - NOA1
6/27/11 - Biometrics Appt
10/5/11 - GC production ordered
============================================
7/12/2010 Being in love with your family is the best feeling in the world!

Offline Goodjessie004

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #72 on: June 29, 2011, 06:33:15 am »
Red flags or no red flags- we can't change the past... all we can do is make wisers choices for the future.

Now its all about Jess walking forward and making herself happy.

Thank you all again for keeping me strong.

 :toast:

Jess


Offline nacho l!bre

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #73 on: June 29, 2011, 06:39:45 am »
Nacho,

Glad that you have learned the culture and personalities of all women from Eastern block by simply dating one of them. Enough said here.

Tim,

Yes, I am a pretty good judge of a character including my own. I know my flaws just as well as my qualities and I thrive to improve all of them as I grow and mature. However, what I am not is bitter! So far from it that I am the opposite. I believe that if you believe in a person he/she will step up and try to be better as well. Only two people in my whole entire life proved me wrong. Anyway, you are missing a point here. What I was trying to say is: if you want to find a long term partner who will make you happy till eternity, look at their character not country of origin, race or ethnicity. For example, getting a Dominican wife won't garuantee you happiness. Your are just drawn to their physical appearance and culture. But you still should study their character before you make a long term commitment

Yele, relax girl, it's just banter or in other words, just talking crap. But since you mentioned it, i've dated German, Ukrainian and Romanian women and i've also interacted with different international troops while in Afghanistan and i learned quite a bit from them.

I am completely calm. You have to also admit that by "learning quite a bit" does not mean you can predict how all gender from a specific culture will act. This reasoning just lacks common sense. I have dated men from different cultures as well, including many Americans and I can tell you that not one person was the same. Instead, I learned what will make me happy.

Man oh man, must you read so deeply into everything?!?!  :rotfl:

I know that you can't predict somebody's particular behavior by learning about their cultures. However, it helps you identify common trends from that particular culture and you can make a more educated decision as to which route you will go.

For instance, the stigma Dominican men carry is that they are flirtatious and/or cheaters. People don't make that stuff up out of thin air but rather from verifiable trends. That's not to say that your man will cheat but it helps you open your eyes and be aware of things to be on the lookout for. So if somebody says "hey, ukrainian girls are like this, this and that", then the next time i meet a ukrainian girl i will be aware and will be able to identify the traits i was made aware of.

Offline Raphael

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #74 on: June 29, 2011, 06:43:16 am »
Thank you all again for keeping me strong.  :toast:   Jess 

You're welcome  O0

Offline marcfranc

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #75 on: June 29, 2011, 12:20:16 pm »
Red flags or no red flags- we can't change the past... all we can do is make wisers choices for the future.

Now its all about Jess walking forward and making herself happy.

Thank you all again for keeping me strong.

 :toast:

Jess

This is what I am trying to say. What is done is done and can not be changed. Move forward Jess, and be happy. Focus on the many good people in your life, not on the one that betrayed you. Stay strong. We are here for you.

Offline Goodjessie004

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #76 on: July 08, 2011, 11:07:30 am »
It's been 3 weeks since Jose N I separated. His officially moved out and he returned his apartments keys & my spare car key to me.
I must say, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster~ :'(   
I gave & sacrificed so much & I got nothing but betrayal back. There is nothing that he can say or do to mend what’s broken.
I purchased the cutest Journal and I’ve been expressing myself on paper. Assuring that nothing goes  unsaid…  I’ve reconnected with some good people (who were against my union w Jose) and I was able to have a nice birthday without any tears.  :laugh:
 
I know that God did me a favor by opening my eyes, bc now I can walk forward live, travel, explore, and be free without worrying about anyone else but myself. Jose was a burden~ 

My advice to any USC traveling abroad, be careful-  por hay muchos que solo "quiere mangar su visa” Yes we are all suckers for love, but love takes time to develop- it’s not something that happens overnight.

Love 
Jess

Offline Jenny429

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #77 on: July 08, 2011, 11:22:42 am »
 :champagne:  I've said it before... I think your strength is unreal!!  You are a superhero in my book!!!  I adore you to pieces, and hope your future is out of this world amazing cause you totally deserve it. 

When I get back to the US we will have to hang out..   :drunk:

:)
<3 Jenny <3
6/9/2011 - Met Francisco while living in the DR became wonderful friends..
2/14/2013 - Married Francisco
9/5/2013 Deposited I-130 via DCF
10/2/2013 Received NOA2
10/28/2013 - Visa Approved
11/1/2013 - Visa Delivered
11/9/2013 - Arrived in NY
9/21/2016 - Greencard without conditions arrived!
Studying for Citizenship now.. :)

Offline marcfranc

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #78 on: July 08, 2011, 12:31:42 pm »
It seems like you are doing well and are on the right track. I wish you my best. Again if you need anything just let me know. BTW, the journal is a real good idea.
There is something about putting it all down on paper that makes us focus our thoughts. I am glad to hear that you had a good birthday!

Offline Surf2Salsa

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Re: Jess & Jose are separating
« Reply #79 on: July 08, 2011, 06:44:38 pm »
It's been 3 weeks since Jose N I separated. His officially moved out and he returned his apartments keys & my spare car key to me.
I must say, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster~ :'(   
I gave & sacrificed so much & I got nothing but betrayal back. There is nothing that he can say or do to mend what’s broken.
I purchased the cutest Journal and I’ve been expressing myself on paper. Assuring that nothing goes  unsaid…  I’ve reconnected with some good people (who were against my union w Jose) and I was able to have a nice birthday without any tears.  :laugh:
 
I know that God did me a favor by opening my eyes, bc now I can walk forward live, travel, explore, and be free without worrying about anyone else but myself. Jose was a burden~ 

My advice to any USC traveling abroad, be careful-  por hay muchos que solo "quiere mangar su visa” Yes we are all suckers for love, but love takes time to develop- it’s not something that happens overnight.

Love 
Jess

Only time can heal your heart. You're doing very well considering everything, betrayal is painful and only much more so when it is so intimate, personal  and right up in your own "space". I've been there and done that, I have gone thru and I have walked thru the valley and have emerged much better and stronger for it at the end. Stay busy it will help pass the time which is what you need.
RV :.

 

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